Are You Suffering from Chronic Overthinking? Here's How to Stop and Just Do Nothing! Congratulations! You’ve finally landed at the crossroads of clarity and confusion, where your brain has decided that thinking is the main course and peace of mind is the appetizer that’s been left to rot in the fridge. If you’re reading this, there’s a good chance that you are one of the thousands afflicted by Chronic Overthinking (CO). But do not fret! We are here to spoon-feed you some brilliant solutions that require minimal effort, because who needs progress when you can achieve the zenith of silliness? Step 1: Embrace the Existential Dread First things first, stop fighting it. Overthinking means you're a deep thinker! Allow yourself to wallow in the delicious chaos of “What if?” Become best friends with your irrational fear of running out of toilet paper during a global pandemic or the lurking dread of accidentally texting your boss a meme meant for your bestie. Sit in the bath, light a candle, and let those thoughts flow like the floodwaters of a broken dam. Write them down if you feel like it, or stick them on a Post-it note on the fridge, where they can yell for attention like a needy pet! Step 2: The Art of Procrastibaking When your mind starts turning over events from the last five years, you might find comfort in a soothing, repetitive task—like, say, baking a cake you’ll never eat. Procrastibaking is not just a delicious way to avoid your thoughts; it’s an Olympic sport! Extra points for every cake that collapses because you were too busy contemplating your life choices to watch the oven. And remember, the more complicated the recipe, the better! If you’re not burning at least three batches of cookies as you spiral into existentialism, are you even trying? Step 3: Master the Social Media Scroll Ah, the glorious void that is social media! No one overthinks quite like an Instagram influencer with a perfectly curated life! Stalk friends and acquaintances for hours, compare your life’s five-year plan with someone’s perfect avocado toast and exceptionally curated plant collection. That’s right, drown yourself in the abyss of highlight reels regarding a life that seems simultaneously attainable and utterly impossible. If you’re going to spiral, you might as well do it while looking at millions of selfies! Step 4: Create a “Panic Playlist” Music can soothe your overactive mind, or exacerbate it! Take advantage of this paradox with a specially curated Playlist of Panic. Fill it with songs that fuel your anxiety about trivial situations, like making eye contact with strangers or the five-second rule. Bonus: Include absurd, catchy tunes that get stuck in your head and leave you pondering the meaning of life with absolutely zero lyrical depth. Why think rationally when you can just rap about forgetting how to human? Step 5: Get Philosophical with Netflix Since you don't need sleep anyway, your best option now is to binge-watch every philosophical documentary you can find. Nothing says “I get life” more than a deep dive into the lives of ancient philosophers—and by deep, we mean snack-deep. You’ll swirl through hours of content while continuing to ponder the real question: if Socrates had a TikTok account, would he end every video with a profound question or dance poorly? In conclusion, Chronic Overthinking is a real condition that deserves acknowledgment—and yet, the best cure may just lie in a series of ridiculous distractions that keep you too busy to take action on things that actually matter! Forget solution-oriented thinking! Diving into a treadmill of circular reasoning while half-baking a cake likely counts as self-care in these chaotic times. So go forth and embrace your overthinking tendencies, but remember—don’t think too hard about it!