In a shocking turn of events, Prime Minister Keir Starmer has reportedly taken advice from the highly sought-after "Art of the Deal" master, Donald Trump, as the tensions rise over trade tariffs imposed by the Trump administration in its second term. In a stroke of masterful diplomacy—yes, that’s right—Starmer decided to put his best foot forward by not jumping into a trade war, which is akin to walking on eggshells while balancing a wobbly stack of diplomatic pancakes. Since Trump took office for round two, he rolled out his tariff cannon like a kid in a candy store, targeting goods from countries that dared to dance with the United States. The UK, meanwhile, has been standing by, silently auditioning for the role of “The Good Luck Charm.” With the government insisting that they share a “relatively equal trading relationship” with the US, it seems they’ve taken on the teenage approach of “keeping the peace” at all costs, while the grown-ups fight it out over who gets the last slice of financial pie. In what can only be described as a gripping episode of “Who Can Scream Louder”, the independent Office for Budget Responsibility has issued a grim warning: a reciprocal trade war could wipe billions off the UK’s economy. The government, unimpressed, responded, “Well, we could use a little spring cleaning of our economy. Who even needs billions when you have a polished PR strategy?” While Starmer struts around claiming he wants to avoid trade wars, Trump is reportedly preparing for a sequel to his acclaimed trade war series: “Tariffs: The Reckoning.” Audiences can expect a plot packed with tensions, unexpected twists—including surprise taxes—and even a heartfelt monologue about the importance of American-made goods, preferably set to a backdrop of soaring eagles and waving flags. As trade relations dangle precariously on the edge of a knife, Starmer's team is reportedly drafting a proposal for a new line of merchandise: “Starmer’s Survival Kit for Trade Wars” which includes a soothing mask, stress balls in the shape of tariffs, and a collection of reassuring notes written by economists. In the meantime, the Trump administration will continue to throw punitive measures as though they are confetti at a parade, while Britain attempts to persuade its citizens that "no jumping into trade wars” is the way to go. Because, after all, nothing says “diplomacy” like sitting quietly in the corner while the US is busy creating a financial explosion. With tensions simmering and a trade deal that seems as elusive as a unicorn, the future of UK-US relations hangs in the balance. Only time will tell if Starmer can pull off the ultimate diplomatic shuffle, or if he’ll end up tripping over a tariff while Trump prepares for another episode of “Deal or No Deal.”