In an unprecedented move that has left bookworms both thrilled and bewildered, Spotify has officially transformed its platform from a haven for music lovers into a veritable literature lover's paradise. The tech giant, once solely dedicated to cramming your playlists with pop and rock, is now boldly boasting its new feature: Audiobooks in Premium—because who doesn’t want to “stream” the classics while stuck in traffic? Launched in the U.S. to a modest fanfare, the Audiobooks in Premium feature brings a whopping 200,000 audiobooks to subscribers at no additional cost. That’s right, for the same price you pay to listen to your favorite artist’s entire discography on repeat, you can now immerse yourself in the tumultuous trials of Tolstoy or the romantic pursuits of Austen. Just be sure to keep those shoes laced up—nothing says "intellectual" quite like listening to a classic while jogging. Just watch out for potholes; it's hard to absorb “War and Peace” when you're plummeting into a ditch. After a successful U.S. rollout, Spotify has expanded its literary offerings to Canada, the U.K., Ireland, Australia, and New Zealand, and now, finally, the much-anticipated launch is hitting France, Belgium, the Netherlands, and Luxembourg. Swell your hearts, fellow Francophones! You too can now listen to Gaël Faye while sipping an espresso at a quaint café, or perhaps get lost in Maylis de Kerangal's prose while in line at the bakery. Just don’t bring the pastries too close to your headphones; we’re not sure which is a better complement—meringue or Nabokov—but we can guarantee crumbs don’t mix well with circuitry. But Spotify isn’t just about the classics; they’re also shining the spotlight on local authors. You can dive into works by homegrown talent like Joël Dicker and Suzanne Vermeer while pretending to be productive at work. After all, what could be more professional than listening to “The Truth About Alice” during a PowerPoint presentation? Your colleagues will merely assume you’re really dedicated to “self-improvement.” The Managing Director of Spotify, in a recent outburst of enthusiasm, declared: “We want everyone to know that literature is just as vital as music! Why scroll through a stack of dusty books when you could stream them? Who needs a library when you have a smartphone?” When asked if the feature would soon include poetry slams or dramatic readings of grocery lists, the director simply smiled and suggested users keep their “audible ambitions” open. As this new venture unfolds, only time will tell how literature-loving Spotify listeners fare in their multitasking endeavors of jogging, commuting, and trying not to trip over their own intellectual aspirations. Until then, the message is clear: who knew that embracing one’s inner bookworm could be just a swipe away? Remember, folks, if someone catches you listening to an audiobook while pretending to read “great literature” in public, just shrug and confidently proclaim you're “cultivating your aural appreciation.”