In a groundbreaking move that has surely excited fans and simultaneously baffled everyone with a calendar, Sony Pictures has officially announced the release of "Spider-Man: Beyond the Spider-Verse," scheduled for June 4, 2027. This news arrives just in time to not provide any closure before the impending circus of the next presidential election, reminding us that some things are simply meant to stretch out indefinitely. Fans of the beloved Miles Morales, who first swung onto our screens in the critically acclaimed "Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse" back in 2018, now have three full years of anticipation to look forward to before they can finally see how this multiverse tale wraps up. You remember Miles, right? The kid who became an emblem of representation and heart in a sprawling web of spider-themed heroics? Well, get ready to wait while companies globally fight over who can sell the most branded merchandise until 2027. "Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse," the sequel that everyone needed immediately after the first—because who doesn’t want more multiverse mayhem?—premiered in 2022 and shattered box office records, presumably while feasting on the tears of those who thought they could have a decent conclusion to any storyline. With the way it ended, audiences were left dangling like a spider’s silk thread, unable to see where Miles would travel next. Well, folks, it looks like we’ll be shuffling through three more years of speculative theories, memes, and articles theorizing about the fate of a cartoon teenager and how he’ll balance school and saving the multiverse—truly pressing matters. While the world will undoubtedly spiral into political chaos and economic trials before 2027 rolls around, fans can take solace in knowing that Miles’ next adventure is just a few years—and who knows how many additional delays—away. Sony's strategic timing might also imply that they are banking on the multiversal appeal of animated film franchises to distract us from reality as we head into the escalating implosion of political debates. So, roll up your web-slinging sleeves, kids. We’re in for a long wait between now and then—perfectly in tune with our nation's propensity for prolonging everything worthwhile. Will Miles defeat the evil villain of adulting? Will he navigate the multiverse of taxes and presidential tweets? Maybe by 2027, the film’s plot will mirror our own lives, trapping us in soon-to-be-dated existential dilemmas. Buckle up, everyone—the future of animated superheroes has never been more uncertain!