In a surprising twist that has left the music world reeling, the Songwriters Hall of Fame has announced its 2025 nominees, featuring a lineup so diverse, it feels as though the last three decades of music decided to throw a reunion party that nobody asked for. Among the nominees are rap royalty Eminem and hip-hop trailblazers N.W.A., pop icons Janet Jackson and Sheryl Crow, and rock legends the Doobie Brothers, all of whom have reportedly been asked to perform a bizarre mashup of their greatest hits at the event. Sources say that the nominees have been instructed to take their classic songs and alter the lyrics ever so slightly to reflect the current state of nostalgia—because what’s better than a '90s remix of "Summer of '69" featuring a rap verse about TikTok trends? Just imagine Eminem rapping about his adolescent angst while Boy George bursts in with a soulful chorus about the emotional turmoil of losing a favourite 90's cassette tape. Meanwhile, Mike Love of the Beach Boys is feeling a bit salty as he aims to step out of the shadow of band founder Brian Wilson, who has been safely nestled in the Hall of Fame for over 25 years. Love reportedly dreams of being inducted just in time to perform the newly composed “Good Vibrations (Still Didn’t Get Invited to the Party)” alongside a hologram of Wilson, who is expected to continue his long-standing tradition of ghosting all family reunions. As for the actual event, early plans suggest a stage setup reminiscent of a '90s high school dance, complete with bean bag chairs and posters of NSYNC. There's talk of an open mic segment where attendees can share their own inspirations for writing songs about love, loss, and the ongoing struggle of maintaining a music collection on vinyl, CD, AND digital formats. The selection committee, comprised of token representatives from each musical genre, is reportedly in heated discussions about how to format the event to appeal to the greatest number of fans—while simultaneously drawing the ire of purists on social media. As one committee member was overheard saying, "How do we please everyone? Oh right, let's just serve avocado toast at the afterparty." In a world where the lines between genres are blurred, one can only speculate what will unfold when these musical titans gather. With any luck, they’ll find a viral TikTok dance that unites rock, rap, and pop enthusiasts alike, proving once and for all that in the music industry, nostalgia is the only thing more powerful than a legal dispute over royalties.