In a move that shocked no one but still managed to raise an eyebrow or two, Microsoft announced today that it will officially retire Skype, the beloved relic of the early 2000s, in favor of its slightly less beloved sibling, Teams. After 21 years of heartfelt "Can you hear me now?" moments, Skype has decided to hang up its virtual hat, perhaps to pursue a lifelong dream of being a non-functional piece of software in the digital graveyard. "Skype served an important purpose in connecting families and friends back when we had dial-up internet and thought flip phones were the future," said a Microsoft spokesperson, clearly aiming to throttle any remaining nostalgia out of the room. "But now it's time for Teams to take center stage, where you have to schedule a video call a week in advance just to discuss last week’s lunch options. Isn’t that fun?" Skype, at its peak, allowed users to chat for hours without incurring hefty phone bills, prompting a surge in awkward family conversations and endless gossip sessions. However, as the years went by, the service became more like that one friend who always gets lost in the group chat and never shows up to events. You know they exist, but you can’t quite remember the last time anyone reached out to them—or if anyone actually wants to. The death knell for Skype was sounded during the pandemic when people turned to video conferencing in droves. But instead of racing back to their old online haunt, users quickly populated platforms that made them feel like they were holding a virtual board meeting, complete with charts and slides no one really cares about. Enter Teams, which has quickly become synonymous with “Can you see my screen?” and “You’re muted!”—phrases that have replaced “Hello” in corporate America. Users have already started receiving notifications suggesting they “enjoy their new Teams experience,” which has sparked heartwarming scenes of Skype users valiantly trying to learn the ins and outs of a platform more suited for corporate execs discussing fiscal strategy over coffee instead of Grandma’s cookie recipes. While a few may express strife over the move, many have already begun drafting passionate farewell letters to their beloved Skype, reminiscing about the days when they could call their long-distance friends who had genuinely forgotten how to interact with humanity without a screen. “We shared so many moments,” lamented one nostalgic user, “like that time we both froze during a call, and I thought I was talking to a statue for fifteen minutes.” As we prepare for this bittersweet departure, Microsoft offers the following advice to former Skype users: “Don’t worry, you can still connect through Teams. It’s just... different. You have to show spreadsheets in a five-person meeting now, but think of it as an ‘upgrade.’” In the end, Skype will remain a fond memory for many—like an old, dusty photo album packed away in a closet, waiting for someone to invoke a long-forgotten social media profile of an awkward high school period that simply has to go. Here's to Skype: may your servers find peace among the digital chaos, far away from the Zoom calls that now dominate our lives. Cheers!