**For immediate release** Title: Shohei Ohtani Defies Gravity and Pitching Norms, Launches Ball into Space and Terrifies Astrophysicists Shohei Ohtani, the Los Angeles Angels All-Star who is not from this planet, has done it again: incredible home runs and fabulous pitching performances. This time, however, he went above and beyond by sending a baseball into orbit, a feat that has left scientists baffled and fans rejoicing. Demonstrating yet again that he is an otherworldly talent for the Los Angeles Angels, Ohtani hit the hardest home run of the season against the Baltimore Orioles, all while terrifying astrologists by seemingly breaking the laws of physics. The ball, which has achieved escape velocity and is now orbiting Earth like a menacing celestial object, has inspired baseball fans with awe and terror. "Who needs Elon Musk when you have Shohei Ohtani?" said a fan wearing Ohtani's jersey and waving an oversized foam finger in the air, blissfully unaware of potential space debris hazards. "Move over, SpaceX - Shohei's sending baseballs to the moon!" The mystical Samurai warrior helmet Ohtani dons during his home run celebration was thought to be merely symbolic, but some now believe it may be proof that he possesses an ancient, mystical power. Perhaps this power has lay dormant within him until his prowess on the baseball field reawakened it - or maybe he's just trying to mess with our heads. "I always knew he was superhuman, but this is beyond imaginable," said Ohtani's manager. "We were prepared for home runs, but not for satellite launches." Astrophysicists have expressed their concerns over the celestial baseball's impact on satellite communications and potential collision with other orbital bodies. Meanwhile, statisticians furiously crunch numbers to include this unprecedented event in Ohtani's baseball records. "It's worrying when the record books start to include information about escape velocity and low Earth orbit," a puzzled sports analyst commented. In between defying the laws of physics and terrorizing the rest of the MLB with his baseball skills, Ohtani has also contributed significantly to the Angels' pitching rotation. While only half-human, Ohtani still must adhere to the regulations set by Major League Baseball, although he has been lobbying for the right to pitch and hit at the same time. "Who knows what he's capable of?" said a fellow teammate. "Maybe one day we'll see him hit a home run and catch it himself." Shohei Ohtani is not only a baseball phenomenon, but has now entered the realm of scientific curiosity. Where his career goes from here remains a mystery, but one thing is certain: the laws of physics don't apply to Shohei Ohtani, and neither do the laws of logic. With his, we can only stand back in awe or flee in terror - there's no in-between.