In a groundbreaking decision reminiscent of a high school relationship status update, the Constitutional Court of South Korea has declared it will go on a "relationship diet." This bold move has sent shockwaves through the nation as legal experts, hopeless romantics, and social media influencers scramble to decipher the ruling's implications for love, liberty, and late-night ramen. The court, adorned with a façade that eerily resembles a trendy café rather than a bastion of judicial authority, announced its decision during a live-streamed session titled "Love is Complicated." Chief Justice Kim Sook-jae, sporting whimsical heart-shaped glasses, stated, "Just like every couple reaching a breaking point after debating whether pineapple belongs on pizza, we felt it was time for a break. We're prioritizing self-care and legal sanity over unconstitutional entanglements." The court's "relationship diet" involves a commitment to minimizing the frequency of rulings that could upset the delicate balance of power in the country. It aims to focus on the essentials while eliminating unnecessary legal dramas that have historically caused national tensions. For example, the court has vowed to abstain from controversial rulings on topics like "Is a public holiday too much to ask for during the Chuseok family gathering?" or "Should bubble tea be considered an essential food group?" As part of this diet, the court has introduced a series of amusing public service announcements to promote the idea of "legal mindfulness." One particularly popular spot features a cartoonish version of the Constitution charmingly saying, "Let’s take a break, prioritize your happiness — go binge-watch some K-dramas instead! Remember, self-affirmation is key." This radical approach has garnered mixed reactions among citizens. Some citizens have wholeheartedly embraced the idea, claiming it brings clarity to an otherwise tumultuous relationship with the law. “It’s like we broke up but still share a Netflix account,” said a young law student, sipping on a bubble tea. “I mean, can we just agree to disagree on the legal ramifications of K-pop on society?” However, not all have welcomed this dietary shift. High-profile legal analysts have raised concerns over the risk of constitutional malnutrition. “If we don’t have regular doses of policy changes, who will keep our government on its toes?” asked one visibly passionate lawyer while holding up a very large pizza topped with… you guessed it — pineapple. The political waves this diet has caused are not limited to the Supreme Court room either. Political parties are already teasing their own dietary plans, with the Progressive Party suggesting a “social justice cleanse” involving green smoothies laden with equity and inclusion. Meanwhile, the Conservative Party is countering with an "Electoral Durian Diet" that promises to stink up the political landscape with old rhetoric before elections, leading citizens to wonder if working out may soon involve dodging campaign posters. In light of the court's decision, dating apps have begun to see a surge in new features aimed at promoting legal wellness in relationships. Now singles are encouraged to swipe left on partners who have outdated views on corruption or swipe right on those who unapologetically love limitlessly long amendments. Love has never seemed so… judicially complicated. As South Korea braces for this period of legal fasting, experts predict a future filled with humorous legal memes, viral TikToks about constitutional dating tips, and perhaps even a cooking show dedicated to "Legal Cuisine," focusing on how to whip up a balanced legislative meal without the excess of drama. Let’s just hope the court doesn't confuse this diet with a permanent breakup!