In a move that has geopolitical analysts baffled and palm tree enthusiasts rejoicing, Saudi Arabia has stepped up as the unlikely host for what many are calling “The Meeting of the Misunderstood.” The event pits US and Russian officials against each other in a bid to negotiate peace, while local gardeners cry out for their fair share of the spotlight. The closed-door talks are reportedly taking place in a lavish conference room, ornamented with date palms that have been imported from the furthest reaches of the deserts, reminding everyone involved that while tensions rise, nature remains chill. As the seasoned negotiators embody what it means to “not palm off” responsibility for the ongoing conflict, the trees virtually scream, "We’ve been around longer than all of you, get it together!" On Monday, the Russian delegation, led by Grigory Karasin—a man who has seen more negotiation tables than a furniture store—made its entrance in Riyadh with all the fanfare of a royal procession. They were met by American officials sporting negotiator attire that might have once served as Halloween costumes. Both sides shook hands, a harmless ritual meant to convey camaraderie, while local cats looked on, unimpressed by the human drama. As the talks commenced, the Saudi host pumped out strong coffee, the scent wafting through the room, stimulating not only minds but also a rekindled interest in caffeine-related research. “We’re always ready to mediate,” the Saudi Ambassador proclaimed, awkwardly gesturing toward the palms outside. “This time, let’s aim for ‘joint agreements’—as in both peace and the future of our garden both flourishing!” Meanwhile, as time ticked away and tempers threatened to flare, one negotiator suggested a game of rock-paper-scissors to break the ice. He firmly believed that diplomacy could achieve greatness on a new front, recognizing that “the palms fight for sunlight, just like we fight for peace.” Trump, the ever-vocal cheerleader of negotiations, tweeted mid-meeting: “This is BIG. Peace is like growing a plant—sometimes you just gotta water it and hope for the best! #PalmTreeNegotiations #MakeNegotiationsBloom.” Despite the jovial atmosphere, outside tensions simmered. Protesters gathered with signs that read “Stop the War” and “Palm Trees for Peace,” leaving passersby scratching their heads. After all, one can only assume that if you support peace negotiations, you must also inherently be an advocate for botanical tranquility. As the day drags on, officials emerge sporadically, wearing expressions that oscillate between thoughtful and mildly confused. Journalists scribble furiously, capturing the essence of a world trying to find common ground, all while palm leaves sway gently above, mocking the entire process. The meeting is set to run for several days, and observers are already debating whether the biggest takeaway will be a peace agreement, or perhaps simply a newfound appreciation for the ecosystem. One thing is for certain: if the peace talks go south, at least the palm trees will keep reaching for the sun while humanity scrambles for shade.