In a shocking turn of events that shook the very foundations of the English Premier League, Arsenal’s Bukayo Saka has reportedly been granted honorary membership into Southampton's prestigious "One-Point Club" after his dazzling performance in a recent match that left fans debating whether to laugh or cry. On Saturday, the Gunners found themselves in a familiar position: a cozy mid-table existence, sipping tea and watching as Southampton, holders of the league's most unremarkable record with a mere point to their name, bravely took the lead. Cameron Archer’s joyful strike sent ripples of astonishment through the Emirates Stadium as the Saints appeared poised to secure their second point of the season, an accomplishment worthy of songs and parades. However, those hopes were dashed quicker than you can say "player of the month" when Saka, apparently fueled by visions of fish and chips, surged down the pitch like a man possessed. His transformative powers resulted in him assisting Kai Havertz, whose equalizer was greeted with the sort of enthusiasm typically reserved for a sunburned family on holiday. But that was merely the beginning of Arsenal's resurrection. As the second half unfolded like a poorly written soap opera, Saka orchestrated a masterclass in football wizardry. The footballing magician then turned goal scorer, netting a stunner that had fans wondering if the club had secretly arranged for a visiting deity to bless their boots. By the time the final whistle blew, the score was a triumphant 3-1 in favor of the Gunners, prompting Arsenal officials to issue a tongue-in-cheek statement declaring: “In light of today’s performance and his undeniable contribution to Southampton’s dwindling hopes, Bukayo Saka's honorary membership in the One-Point Club is hereby suspended. He remains eligible for all future activities, provided Southampton does not improve.” As pundits speculate whether Saka's exploits might have unwittingly saved Southampton from perpetual relegation to the Football League, the Saints contemplate their next move in the transfer market. Meanwhile, the rest of the Premier League looks on anxiously, half-expecting Southampton to respond by drafting in a motivational speaker to discuss the importance of “managing expectations." In the aftermath of the game, social media erupted in celebration, with fans jokingly suggesting that Southampton should consider a name change to the "Half-Point Club" and challenge other clubs to follow suit. Meanwhile, Saka remains the Gunners' darling, now forever linked to one of the league's most comically unfortunate chapters in sports history.