Welcome to Ryegate, Vermont, where our population meter reads "Stuck in Neutral," and we’re proud of it! You see, here in our charming little corner of Caledonia County, growth is about as common as a seven-legged spider, probably because it just hasn’t occurred to anyone that expanding the population might be a decent way to liven things up. Picture this: Our modest town, with its sparkling count of 1,165 desperate souls, is like a well-preserved museum exhibit titled "The Curious Case of Stagnation." You’d think we’re living in a time bubble where folks decided, “Eh, 1,165 seems like a nice round number; let’s just stop here.” Perhaps we’re under some kind of cosmic curse or maybe it’s just that our most adventurous population just… forgot where they were going. As you meander through our labyrinthine streets—seriously, if you’ve ever tried navigating Ryegate without a GPS, you’re really in for it—you might run into our most ambitious local endeavor: post offices. Yes, plural! We’ve got a few, and they’re all just as fascinated as we are about remaining exactly the same size. It’s like we collectively agreed to make a pact: “Let’s keep the mail flowing, but as for our social lives, let’s remain few and far between!” Now, our population may be stuck in neutral, but we’re unmatched when it comes to quaintness. If you enjoy quaint, you’ll absolutely love Ryegate. We’re the town equivalent of an Instagram filter that promises vintage charm without the hassle of any actual growth. It’s impressive really; we’ve managed to maintain the same number of residents long enough to host a reunion of “We’ve Been Here The Whole Time” every five years. Spoiler alert: The turnout is usually about 1,165 and maybe an errant raccoon. Do you want to engage in friendly debates? Well, every conversation turns into a battle over opinion pieces printed in our monthly newsletter, “Ryegate Rambler.” Don’t be surprised if the highlight of your month is discussing the merits of different brands of fly traps with Dale from down the street—everyone knows Dale is a trap aficionado, though we’re still a bit hazy on what was trapped in the first place. The kids in town? Bless their hearts! They play sports not just for glory but also as a thinly veiled attempt to bring new families to the area. Picture it: an epic game of football, with each tackle sounding out like battle cries: “Come join us in Ryegate!” They might as well be wearing T-shirts that say, “Save Us from Stagnation—Try Our Ice Cream.” Speaking of ice cream, let’s not forget the culinary scene! Our most popular restaurant has witnessed formation-level discussions about whether vanilla or chocolate is the superior flavor. We boldly accept that our place in the culinary hierarchy may never grace the Michelin guide, but we are unwavering in our commitment to rotate the same four recipes back into the spotlight year after year. “Oh, spaghetti again? Never gets old!” As we stand proud in our population purgatory, we might as well slap a slogan on a bumper sticker: “Ryegate, Vermont: Where We’re Not Growing, but We’re Definitely Growing On You.” We are the reigning champions of ‘Keeping It Real,’ the champions of nostalgia, and the monarchy of a charmingly stagnant lifestyle. So come visit or join in our delightful conundrum; after all, if you see someone new in town, it might just be a national emergency. Welcome to the absolute delight of being “Stuck in Neutral.” Enjoy your stay—we’re here for the long haul!