In a dazzling display of economic finessing reminiscent of high-stakes rounds of the everpopular family board game Monopoly, the Russian government has recently unveiled a new strategy to stabilize the ruble: coerce exporters into surrendering more of their foreign revenues. The move follows a Wednesday meeting between President Vladimir Putin and his band of top officials, where they bandied about possible measures subversively titled “Informal Capital Control Guidelines.” These could include such innovative approaches as replacing corporate CEOs with fur hats, convincingly posing as extraterrestrials offering tech collaborations, or notably, convincing exporters to neglect existing practices in favor of flooding the national coffers. Instead of further restricting the already precarious movement of capital in the country (because apparently sitting on Free Parking and waiting for a windfall isn’t sufficient), the Russian government plans to introduce new guidance that would urge "nudge-nudge-wink-wink" exporters to willingly cough up more of their foreign earnings. This strategy could also be referred to as "hey, we have Park Place and Boardwalk, deposit your hard-earned money here. No? Not even for a free hotel?" Meanwhile, the Russian exporters, unaffected by any lightheadedness caused by the whirlwind of foreign market fluctuations, have met these recommendations with a mix of incredulity and cautious optimism. “Is this part of the community chest cards or chance pile?” an anonymous exporter wondered aloud. The move is yet another example of how the Russian government is navigating the rough economic waters with a sturdy inflatable rubber duck, rather than a mundane, traditional sailboat. As much as the government is hoping to take its turn and advance to “Go,” international reactions to the plan have been mixed. Critics have pointed out that dropping a Monopoly analogy on alien tech collaborations is the kind equivalent of landing on Baltic Avenue with a hotel. Nonetheless, officials in the Kremlin remain confident in their game plan. “It’s all in a day's play,” a Kremlin spokesperson pontificated, folding his hands atop a stack of play money, “We have to hope for a roll of the dice in our favor.” As the saga continues, both spectators and participants of the Russian economic wheelbarrow race are waiting to see who will be caught out, and if the Chance card will indeed offer a Get Out of Jail Free privilege or sorely needed rupees for the public treasury.