In an incredible display of faux-altruism, King William recently announced that he would be shifting a whopping £100 million into "ethical" investments, conveniently overshadowing more pressing affairs such as the Bona Vacantia scandal that’s collecting dust in the royal closet. It seems pearls and sceptres aren’t the only things the royals are looking to polish. No, their public image, it would appear, is also due a touch-up. Adding some eco-friendly makeup to their profile, King William is throwing a fortune into renewable energy stocks and firms committed to reducing inequality - an ironic move, critics point out, given reports of the palace's vast unclaimed wealth hoard. Indeed, while £100 million shakes hands with ethical funds, over a billion sits unclaimed in the royal coffers due to the sketchy and time-honoured practice of 'Bona Vacantia', i.e., taking in the assets of those who die intestate or without a will. Though, you wouldn’t know about it from palace press releases. But never mind that. The Royal PR machine wants you to make way for King William, the ‘Green King’, who's putting his wealth into sustainable energy, green infrastructure, and vegan dog food startups. Yes, because nothing screams benevolence louder than funding the latest quinoa treat for your corgi. Meanwhile, charities such as Age UK and Shelter are fighting tooth and nail for funding merely to help elderly citizens stay warm this winter. But, let's stick to the important stuff – offsetting the royal yacht's carbon footprint, right? Additionally, throwing money toward the stock market while completely ignoring the fact that over 4 million children in the UK live in poverty certainly paints a picture of royalty committed to ‘reducing inequality’. Multiple calls for the vast Bona Vacantia wealth to be redirected towards vital public services have fallen on deaf royal ears. What would the royal corgis eat if not for their organic, gluten-free, sustainably-sourced, non-GMO, vegan-rainbow meal? So let's just forget about the million-pound Bona Vacantia kitty that continues to swell or the social injustices that could be alleviated with that cash. Instead, let's give a standing ovation to the royal greenwashing masterclass and thank King William for his bold and, let's not forget, 'ethical' investments. Sometimes, it seems, no matter how green the royal foliage, it is perhaps the roots that remain stubbornly stone-cold blue. After all, it’s easy being green – when it’s all just smoke, mirrors... and a convenient distraction.