In a stunning display of football prowess, Real Madrid showcased their undeniable supremacy in the Champions League with a commanding 5-1 victory over Red Bull Salzburg, leaving fans wondering if they should start prepping the trophy case again. Rodrygo was the star of the night, putting in a performance that had scouts from various European clubs paying closer attention, while Vinicius Junior seemed to take a different approach altogether—prioritizing rest and Netflix over running around the pitch. The Brazilian sensation opened the scoring in the 23rd minute, capitalizing on a majestic ball over the top from none other than Vinicius Junior himself. However, instead of running around celebrating, Vinicius quickly tucked himself back into a corner of the pitch, seemingly saving energy for his upcoming binge-watch of the latest series on Netflix—a much safer bet than getting tackled during a match. Rodrygo, entirely unbothered by the lack of opportunities to hug his partner in crime, doubled the lead a mere eleven minutes later. His second goal could only be described as "sumptuous" and "delicious”—the sort of goal so delightful that you wonder if maybe it should be paired with a fine wine rather than football commentary. Jude Bellingham, who likely just wanted to show off his new backheel skills, played a magnificent role in giving the assist, prompting fans to speculate if he had secretly planned a backheel dance for the post-match celebrations. As the second half rolled around, the inevitable onslaught continued. In the 48th minute, Kylian Mbappe decided to join the party, benefiting from a monumental blunder by Salzburg's goalkeeper Janis Blaswich. The goalscorer’s face could only be described as “slightly embarrassed,” as he might have realized that centers for goalkeeper training classes might soon be flooding his DMs. Meanwhile, Vinicius continued with his low-energy strategy, blissfully ignoring potential scoring chances, focusing instead on planning his future Hulu nights. Commentary on his lack of contributions on the pitch was swiftly drowned out by speculation about the plot twist in his favorite show, making observers realize that nothing could quite distract from the complex nature of Brazilian youth celebrity culture. The only consolation for Salzburg came in the form of a late consolation goal—a mere flicker of hope in an otherwise gloomy evening as Real Madrid made their intentions as Champions League holders clear. But for fans hoping to see Vinicius gun for glory, the sight of a forward curled up on the bench with a bag of popcorn may have left them questioning the commitment of their star. For Real Madrid, the message was crystal clear: the focus remains on lifting trophies, while Vinicius Jr. remains dedicated to another mission entirely—streaming service domination.