In a dazzling display of accountability, the North Carolina legislature has turned its scrutinizing eyes upon ReBuild NC, the state’s beloved fund meant to make all our rebuilding dreams come true. With more budget shortfalls than a high school gym's roof after a rainstorm, lawmakers have finally decided that “maybe” leaving this crucial program to run itself was not the best strategy since "let's buy a bunch of lottery tickets and hope for college tuition" went so poorly. Citizens, fresh off their rebuilding journeys that have somehow led them deeper into credit card debt and existential despair, are clamoring for answers. "I thought we were getting back into our homes, not diving into a budgetary Bermuda Triangle!" lamented one particularly optimistic homeowner, who had been led to believe that flood relief would be as simple as ordering a pizza. In response to growing constituent discontent, lawmakers have assembled a task force to address the growing crisis. Their first order of business? Deciding whether they should rename the task force to something catchier, like “Operation Dollars in the Well.” “Everyone knows money flows like water in this state,” one lawmaker pointed out, “and since we’ve lost control of the river, we figured we might as well embrace the metaphor.” Meanwhile, the bureaucratic circus known as ReBuild NC is reportedly working hard, or hardly working, depending on whom you ask. The latest budget report has prompts like “still counting” and “careful, it’s slippery there,” proving that financial accountability requires as much transparency as a pair of sunglasses on a moonlit beach. Driving the discontent is the apparent betrayal of an entire generation of homeowners who thought they could rely on the government in their time of need. “I filled out the forms, waited, and then got breadcrumbs while the big folks feasted on steak dinners at committees,” complained one weary applicant, echoing a sentiment echoed in a chorus of frustration across the state. It appears the process involves more paperwork than the average tax return—only instead of a refund, you get the sweet sound of crickets. As ReBuild NC’s leaders take to social media to reassure everyone that things are “totally under control,” they also mention that some paperwork is “in progress.” “We didn’t foresee all the obstacles—we thought it would be like building IKEA furniture, not assembling a rocket ship,” said one anonymous official after a few too many conference call mixed drinks. Adding to the whimsical tone, rumors have begun swirling around the state capitol about an upcoming musical featuring the struggles of ReBuild NC, tentatively titled "Budget Blues: The Musical." It’s said to feature numbers such as “Where’s the Money Gone?” and “Promises on the Shelf,” while a duet of lawmakers and desperate homeowners bemoans, “It’s My Money, and I Want it Now!” Taxpayers eagerly await finding out if there’s a silver lining after the storm clouds of mismanaged funds. In the meantime, everyone can rest assured that state leaders will continue to put their noses to the grindstone, which seems to be a popular locale these days, at least until the next election cycle when promises will resurface like debris in floodwaters.