In a groundbreaking announcement that has left the footballing world reeling, Real Madrid’s head coach Carlo Ancelotti has declared that his team plans to score “at least triple” the amount of goals in their upcoming Champions League match, citing a previously undiscovered strategy known as “actually scoring.” Following a narrow 2-1 victory over Atletico Madrid, which Ancelotti referred to as an “oppressive display of resilience,” the manager expressed confidence that a three-goal margin was indeed “the new normal.” “Our players showed tremendous grit,” he stated, likely referring to his squad’s uncanny ability to win matches while treating their fans to a nail-biting spectacle. “Next time, we’ll just score more goals. It’s really that simple.” In what can only be described as a revolutionary tactical adjustment, Ancelotti suggested that securing a larger victory could involve the players properly converting the plethora of chances they create. “Vinicius Jr and Kylian Mbappe missed some tremendous opportunities,” he explained, drawing praise from the football community for his extraordinary insights that required graduation-level football knowledge. “If they could just aim for the net rather than the curious yet valiant attempt to nudge the ball towards the shins of the goalkeeper, we’d be sitting more comfortably.” Reactions to Ancelotti’s bold declaration have flooded social media, with fans and pundits alike scratching their heads. “I’ve never thought about scoring more goals as a strategy,” commented one bewildered analyst, “It’s almost as if they’ve simply been playing with one hand tied behind their back this whole time!” In the wake of this shocking news, fans are left wondering how the team will adapt to this ambitious new plan. After all, nothing suggests that aiming the ball in the correct direction has any precedent in football. Ancelotti has reassured the public that training sessions will include an intense drill called “finding the net,” which participants suspect will be merely a rebranding of the traditional practice routine. Meanwhile, Atletico Madrid’s fans are in stitches at the thought of Real Madrid attempting to actually score goals in their next match, stating that they’ll be tuning in for what they’re calling “the boldest comedy event in sports history.” One thing is clear: Ancelotti’s vision for a future free of nail-biters may just be the leadership innovation that could revolutionize how the beautiful game is played—one overly confident strategist at a time.