In an unprecedented display of growth that left industry experts scratching their heads, Radisson Hotel Group has reportedly added nearly 40,000 keys to its portfolio in 2024, raising questions about their mysterious new locations. Executives celebrated the milestone with a lavish party at a location still to be determined, presumably because they couldn't decide where to put all the balloons amidst their rapidly expanding empire. Elie Younes, the Global Chief Development Officer, stood proudly before a backdrop of confetti and champagne fountains, proclaiming, “It’s a record year for us! We’re excited to announce our 40,000 new keys, although we are currently looking for the other 39,875 keys. Anyone seen them?” The fabled keys, rumored to unlock mythical hotel rooms, have become an inside joke among Radisson employees, who now ask each other “Where do the keys go?” during their morning coffee breaks. Radisson Blu has again claimed the title of "Leading Upper Upscale Brand in Europe" for the 13th straight year, much to the delight of their guests, who have yet to encounter any remaining mystery rooms. Guests have been known to wander into empty conference rooms hoping to find the lost inventory of keys, hence sparking a new reality show: "Where are the Keys?" featuring unsuspecting tourists searching for luxurious rooms filled with… nothing, as hotel staff deliver more cryptic smiles. The group’s conquest extends beyond the realm of upscale hotels into the fabled territory of upscale resorts across EMEA, stirring envy among competitors who can barely keep track of their own keys. In fact, some brand executives have even resorted to hiding keys behind potted plants and strategically placing them under doormats to generate the illusion of inventory. “This is all part of our innovative approach to expansion,” Younes added, amidst laughter from his team. “Why limit ourselves to predictable growth when we can cast a wider net into the unknown? It keeps things exciting.” Industry analysts have lauded the company's audacious strategy, expressing admiration for their commitment to numbers over substance. Investors, poised like hawks, have even begun to speculate whether the missing keys symbolize a treasure map to the new Atlantis-style hotel concept. Meanwhile, the Travel Channel has pitched a new series titled "Keyless: The Radisson Mystery," which will explore the fascinating world of hotels where guests check in but can never seem to find their rooms. As Radisson Hotel Group continues making headlines with its impressive figures and ambiguous messaging, one thing remains clear: they may add more keys than anyone can possibly find, but they’ll surely unlock a few smiles—at least until guests start asking for directions to the mysterious rooms that nobody seems to know exist.