In a shocking turn of events that has left political pundits scratching their heads and hairdressers across the nation doubling their appointment slots, President Biden has unveiled his ambitious initiative to open "White House 2.0," a pop-up presidential residence designed exclusively for the 21st century. The new location, reportedly to be set up in a neighboring state, is said to feature all the latest amenities modern leaders crave, including a state-of-the-art popcorn machine, a Wi-Fi connection faster than any tweet from former President Trump, and perhaps most importantly, an unlimited supply of reading glasses to ensure no executive order is ever signed without proper sight. The presidential team announced the project during an official press conference where Biden made a grand entrance on a Segway, declaring, “Why keep things old and dusty when you can have bright lights and a neon ‘Biden 2024’ sign on the roof?” Following his acrobatic entrance, he unveiled plans for White House 2.0, which will take cues from trendy coworking spaces where collaboration and mood lighting are prioritized. The new pop-up will reportedly be designed by an architecture firm known for constructing "influencer cabins" in the woods, ensuring that every room is Instagram-ready. Rumors suggest that the Oval Office will be transformed into a "Social Media Suite," complete with “Hug Life” wall art. “This isn’t just an office; it’s a vibe,” said a senior aide, who whispered that a famous TikTok influencer was consulted on the design. Critics have raised eyebrows at the initiative, claiming that Biden’s focus on gamifying the White House may distract from pressing issues like inflation and foreign policy. But supporters argue that nothing brings people together like a good old-fashioned council meeting held around a fire pit. “We have to embrace the future,” Biden stated while sipping an avocado smoothie. “Imagine negotiating trade deals while roasting marshmallows. It’s called diplomacy, folks.” Biden’s bold move hasn’t gone unnoticed on Capitol Hill, where lawmakers have begun to ponder the implications for their own workplaces. Rumor has it that Congress is already in talks to convert the Capitol Building into a massive escape room, where politicians must work together to solve puzzles—or risk being stuck in committee meetings forever. As construction for White House 2.0 gets underway, Vice President Kamala Harris has suggested that the first event to be hosted there should be a massive potluck dinner, where members of both parties can finally bond over their mutual love for potato salad and disdain for fundraising calls. The theme, “Come Together and Share a Slice of Democracy,” is expected to be a hit. In the meantime, Biden has encouraged Americans to submit their design ideas for the pop-up, promising that the winning designs will be immortalized in a special digital gallery, accessible only via a poorly designed website launched in 1998. So, as excitement brews and snack orders flood White House catering, one thing is for certain: whether it’s the old residence or the soon-to-be iconic White House 2.0, one President’s pop-up project could be the most talked-about thing since… well, the last meme of him falling off his bike.