In a bold move towards progress, Pennsylvania has officially embraced its future as the shining capital of data centers, effectively launching the state into a new era of technological magnificence – and, of course, insatiable electric demand. As the state powers up its new servers, one can't help but wonder, who cares about climate change when there are memes to circulate and cat videos to stream? Local analysts predict an electric demand increase that would make even the sun green with envy. “Sure, we’re burning a few fossil fuels here and there,” one energy expert proclaimed, adjusting his thick-rimmed glasses while gazing wistfully at a nearby generating plant, “but think of the downloads! Just imagine the horsepower needed for all those TikTok dances!” With the transition from coal mining to cloud computing, Pennsylvania is clearly catching the wave of innovation. Forget about those pesky environmental regulations; they might as well be written in invisible ink. Why worry about the climate when we can worship at the altar of bandwidth? “We’re on the cutting edge of electrifying the universe!” exclaimed a local tech entrepreneur, who was last seen trying to figure out how to charge his electric scooter via USB. “I mean, if the planet gets a little warmer, maybe it’ll finally be summer all year round!” As the state shovels billions into infrastructure to support these data behemoths, residents are encouraged not to think about the increased heat waves or their fiery potential to spark wildfires. Instead, they are treated to the poetic notion that happiness can indeed be found in scrolling endlessly through an Instagram feed – so long as you turn off the lights while you do it. Officials with the “Light It Up, Baby!” campaign praised the magical new data centers for creating jobs in the most ironic of ways. Hundreds of positions will open as data engineers, heating and cooling specialists, and reality checks become more important than ever. “It’s a win-win!” they chirped, wearing shirts that read "Climate Change? More Like Climate Change the Channel!" Meanwhile, environmental activists are left scratching their heads in confusion. “Why would we care about rising sea levels when there’s a rise in likes and shares?” one disillusioned advocate mused while sipping an artisanal beverage—eco-friendly, of course—while scrolling through their phone. “We’re fighting the good fight for homegrown energy sources, but at what cost? We can’t ditch all this tech drama for a bit of atmospheric stability!” In a remarkable twist of fate, Pennsylvania’s ambitious plan may end up being the greatest innovation of our time, with pundits suggesting it could even inspire other states to ignore the fine print of climate accords too. “Who has the time to worry about the future when the latest software update is just a click away?” exclaimed another tech wizard, presumably having just invented a new application that converts carbon emissions into meme formats. As the state continues to bask in the glow of digital glory and blazing power plants, Pennsylvanians are left to ponder the unanswerable question: Who really cares about climate woes when there’s data to crunch and a virtual world to conquer?