In a stunning turn of events that has left both the religious and sports communities reeling, Pope Leo XIV has taken the world by storm—not with a papal encyclical on morality, but with a resolution to lead a new tradition of baseball mass. In a press conference held in the Vatican Gardens, the pontiff announced, “As a lifelong Chicago Cubs fan, I feel it is my divine duty to bring America’s pastime into the heart of the Catholic Church!” The announcement followed a curious pattern: Cubs merchandise was seen adorning the Vatican walls, and the traditional papal robes were reportedly outfitted with small blue and red patches featuring the iconic "C" logo. Sources close to the Pope revealed that he has also mandated that all Cardinals must wear caps during any papal service conducted in the warmer months—an apparent nod to the Chicago summer. Meanwhile, in Chicago, fervent Cubs fans rejoiced as they felt a new sense of divine favor. "Who else but a Cubs fan could perform miracles like getting elected Pope and bringing a championship to this city?" exclaimed longtime fan and pizza aficionado, Mario “Mamma Mia” Maloney. As for the Cubs’ front office, they have expressed excitement in their own unique way: by launching a series of liturgical-themed promotional nights, including “Holy Home Runs” and “Sermons on the Mount” promotions at Wrigley Field. The MLB has sat up and taken notice as well, with Commissioner Rob Manfred announcing that next year's All-Star Game will have a special segment: “Blessings and Bats,” where players will be accompanied by local clergy to bless baseballs before they step up to bat. As if things weren’t bizarre enough, the Pope's brother, John Prevost, was quick to jump on the bandwagon, branding himself the “First Fan of the Vatican.” He has started a new charity called “Baseballs for Bishops,” aiming to provide all Cardinals with gear, practice sessions, and even a Vatican-sponsored Little League. Meanwhile, in a surprising twist, the Cubs have vowed to renew their rivalry with Villanova University, declaring that the NCAA will need to sanction a Vatican Division for the impending baseball fandom showdown. "When it comes to supporting your team, even the Vatican has to choose sides," said an anonymous spokesperson for the Cubs. "We plan to make this the holy grail of tournaments!" As the world watches in a mixture of confusion and amusement, it remains to be seen whether Pope Leo XIV will inspire a new wave of religious baseball fandom, turn the papacy into the most sought-after managerial position, or simply bless the Cubs with an actual win in the World Series before they end the season in disarray once again. For now, the faithful are struggling to reconcile the divine with the diamond, while the Cubs faithful gear up for what just might be the most heavenly season yet.