In a bold move reminiscent of a high school principal finally deciding to crack down on mischief-makers, the Police Service Commission has ushered in the New Year by sidelining 18 officers for misconduct. These individuals, who were previously entrusted with the safety and security of the public, will now have plenty of time to reflect on their decisions, as they join the growing ranks of the unemployed. Among the unfortunate 18 are ten Assistant Superintendents, four Deputy Superintendents, two Chief Superintendents, and one Superintendent. It appears that misconduct is the new “getting a snack at recess” for these officers, as they’ve clearly taken the concept of “creative law enforcement” a step too far. Perhaps they mistook their badges for party invitations, but whatever the reason, they’ll now be attending the grand ball of joblessness. But fear not, for the Commission isn't just about giving the boot — it’s got a positive spin to spread around like a benevolent fairy godparent! A whopping 19 other senior police officers were not only spared the axe but also given promotions to “lower” ranks as if the titles alone would save their dignity. Just imagine the excitement as one Assistant Commissioner of Police becomes a Chief Superintendent; it’s like being upgraded from a coach seat to an even more comfortable economy seat — at least you get snacks. The promotion list includes one Assistant Commissioner of Police, one Chief Superintendent, two Superintendents, two Deputy Superintendents, and an astonishing baker's dozen of Assistant Superintendents. One can only wonder what criteria were used for these promotions. Was there an exhaustive review process involving a magic eight ball, or did they merely pull names from a hat? As the officers settle into their new roles, the public can expect enhanced policing strategies — perhaps even themed patrols, where the officers don retro uniforms for a taste of nostalgia. It seems that accountability and professional conduct are the new resolutions of the Police Commission, and they plan to stick to it like a New Year’s diet — at least until temptation shows up. In the meantime, the dismissed officers can take solace in finding new hobbies. Maybe a book club or pottery class is in order. After all, they might just become the best “former cops” the world has ever seen.