In a world where pixelated dreams and virtual victories dominate our lives, one 28-year-old man has discovered a new realm of disappointment: the price of emotional turmoil is far higher than the latest PlayStation 5. Meet Timmy “Two Controller” Thompson, a self-proclaimed gaming aficionado whose recent heartbreak has left him questioning his life choices, emotional investments, and whether it's time to take his collectibles to Cash Converters. Timmy's romantic escapades, or lack thereof, have reached a peak both tragic and farcical, as he documented that his recent breakup with girlfriend of three years, Meg, resulted in a staggering financial loss. “It wasn’t just my heart that was shattered; my wallet took a serious dive,” he lamented while clutching a controller like it was a life raft. “I spent nearly $800 on gifts for her, and I just learned she was 'seeing' someone else on the side… someone with a top-tier gaming rig!” In an effort to cope, Timmy attempted to drown his sorrows in his favorite hobby, only to be met with harsh realities. While a new PlayStation retails for around $499, the emotional cost of unreciprocated love has spiraled out of control. “I’ve calculated it. The therapy sessions, takeout food binges, and emergency online shopping sprees have forced me to increase my RAM and decrease my ability to pay rent! At this rate, my emotional expenditure is approaching a staggering $1,200,” he explained while scrolling through an online marketplace looking for a gently used game console. Friends and family are concerned over his financial prioritization, especially since overdraft fees have begun to accumulate faster than Timmy can level-up in his favorite RPG. “We tried to stage an intervention,” exclaimed his best friend, Dave, who awkwardly attempted to wield a motivational speech over a game of Fortnite. “But he just kept saying, ‘At least my credit card bill doesn’t give me heartburn like Meg’s texts do.’ I mean, it’s honestly gotten to the point where I have to sneak in and unplug his console to get him to come out of his room.” As Timmy’s heartbreak continues to drain his finances and his emotional reserves, he embarked on a noble quest for revenge against the heartless villain, Meg: the “PayStation.” He meticulously constructed a meme-laden Instagram campaign titled “Heartbreaks Kill Consoles,” aimed at raising awareness for the plight of gamers with too much love to give and not enough respect to receive. In his most recent post, adorned with lavish graphics of broken controllers and photoshopped cash going into a abyss, he wrote, “This little piece of circuitry can bring me joy! But I need to know: was it worth it? Should I invest in a new therapeutic gaming setup, or should I go back to my old pre-relationship single-player games where my only heartbreak came at the hands of the final boss?” As this epic tale unfolds, experts predict that heartbreak will soon cause a significant dip in console sales nationwide. “Emotional distress is on the rise, and it seems consumers are choosing to spend rather than invest in the latest technology,” noted Dr. Frances Heart, a leading psychologist. “We may even see a surge in video game-themed therapy sessions that address heartbreaks with virtual reality—not to escape reality, but to understand the pixelated pain of unrequited love.” While Timmy dreams of a day when his heart isn’t the only thing under repair, one thing is clear: when it comes to relationships, sometimes we’re forced to ask ourselves what costs more: love or a fully loaded gaming console? In his case, with a controller in hand, the answer remains dubious amid echoes of broken hearts and beeping systems. Stay tuned as we continue following this catastrophic gaming saga, where the emotional stakes are higher than the console release dates!