Ladies and Gentlemen, we interrupt your monotonous consumption of meaningless sitcoms and reality TV shows to bring you distressing but compulsory news: We are actively and relentlessly wrecking our very own planet. It seems that our insatiable appetite for buying, hoarding, and discarding unusable material crap is not only destroying our personal credit ratings but also irreversibly damaging our precious, once-green Earth. We call this mass suicidal tendency: 'Consumerism' and it's high time we 'Save our Receipts' for posterity instead of posteriors. The human race perhaps can be the only species that pays to obliterate its habitat. We have mastered the art of reckless consumption, often clad in terms like 'retail therapy' or 'impulse shopping'. Outgrowing your last week's wardrobe or upgrading to the latest shiny gadget are activities that seem to release an odd euphoria, somewhat mirroring the exultation experienced while watching the Kardashians. According to environmental scientists and other killjoys telling us the bitter truth, the production of our favorite knick-knacks involves most devastating activities. Deforestation, pollution, depletion of resources, you name it; the production process ensures that it hits the sweet spot between 'absolute necessity' and 'planet destruction'. But fear not, for we have discovered alternative lifestyle recipes that might slow our race to planetary suicide. Now, these might taste a little bitter, but it’s surely better than choking on plastic or melting under the UV rays, right? First up on our list is the simple yet dreadful idea: 'reduce, reuse, recycle'. Now I know making this into a daily habit might not be as exciting as tearing apart the wrapping of a new delivery, but believe it or not, it gives the Earth a break. This method also controversially includes the heart-wrenching practice of repairing and making do. We can hear the cries of shopping addicts from here, but hey, desperate times call for desperate saving measures. Next, we have another stomach-churning recipe – 'Public Transport'. I know, those two words are enough to make even the Buddha roll his eyes. But if you can brave the masses, you might have the chance to curb climate change and also play your own sweet part in saving the world, not to mention your morning gym routine would be instantly covered. Last is a particularly nauseating one – 'Sustainable Eating'. This means swapping your decadent, juicy steak for a healthier eco-friendly salad or locally grown organic produce. It may not satisfy your taste buds initially, but you’ll eventually learn to savor the new flavor of self-righteousness. As we continue our relentless journey towards planetary suicide, let's keep these alternative recipes in our back pockets. They won't score us extra bonuses on our credit cards, but hey, they might just save us from an impending catastrophe. Now, let's go back to your favorite re-run of Friends - because isn't it satirical how we find comfort in nostalgia while we are the ones destroying the prospects of a future? Ah, the bitter taste of consumerism.