In a groundbreaking initiative, the International Organization for Workplace Wellness, or IOWW for the terminally over-caffeinated, has announced the launch of its newest program: Office Therapy. The program promises to make the workplace a haven for mental health—or at least a cozy nook where workers can sip their artisanal lattes while skillfully deflecting any discussion of emotional well-being. "If we can just keep the coffee strong enough and the talks about feelings thin enough," declared a spokesperson for IOWW, “we can ensure that workers will be productive and blissfully unaware of their mental health issues!” The initiative comes at a time when nearly 60% of the global population is crunching numbers and swallowing stress like a second cup of coffee at 3 PM. The campaign encourages organizations to prioritize "decaf conversations" about mental health, promoting buzzwords like "wellness" and "team cohesion" without actually addressing any underlying issues. Employees will now be welcomed to the "Wellness Corner," which features a giant beanbag chair and an enlightening sign that reads, "Just Breathe—But Not Too Deeply; We Don’t Want You to Actually Think About Your Feelings." Employees can expect a range of innovative coping strategies, such as "pretend everything’s fine," “the classic avoidance technique,” and “rage-cleaning your workspace.” Participants in the inaugural session reported feeling "a lot better now that we’ve collectively decided not to discuss yesterday's anxiety attacks." Mental health experts are thrilled with the approach. Dr. Freudstein, a renowned psychotherapist who moonlights as a corporate consultant, stated, “This is a monumental step towards normalizing the notion that mental health is something to be ignored at all costs—at least until the next office party where we can drink away our problems!” Executives are also embracing the initiative. “We have created a supportive work environment where asking for help is encouraged—right after the quarterly review,” said CEO Max Profit. “And don’t forget our special ‘Stress Ball Fridays,’ where we distribute stress balls that look suspiciously like our bosses’ heads!” The program’s highlights include the annual “Denial Day,” where employees gather to cheerfully deny any thoughts of burnout while participating in a spirited game of ‘How Many Projects Can You Juggle Before You Crack?’ The ultimate prize? A stress relief kit filled with scented candles, a miniature punching bag labeled “Workload,” and an exclusive coupon for therapy—valid only if you book an appointment before the end of the fiscal year. As skeptics cast doubt on the efficacy of the program, IOWW remains unperturbed. "We’re confident that by masking genuine struggles with a sprinkle of corporate jargon and a side of denial, we can create a workplace where mental health issues can thrive in the shadows, like a plant no one watered but everyone pretends to love," the spokesperson concluded. With Office Therapy now officially rolled out, employees everywhere are left to ponder: Is it really better to check your mental health at the door, or is this just a trendy way to sip your coffee while spiraling quietly into oblivion? Only time, and maybe a few late-night therapy sessions, will tell.