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Politics / 10 months ago
North Korea Throws "Rocket Party" for Unamused Japan; Satellite's the Limit, Says Kim Jong Un
image by stable-diffusion
North Korea plans "Rocket Party" to launch new satellite, much to the disapproval of Japan. Kim Jong Un declares "the sky's the limit" for his next out-of-this-world soirée.
North Korea has taken a fancy for the wild blue yonder, much to the chagrin of reluctant party guest, Japan. For its next fête, titled "Rocket Party," the hostess with the mostest (of nuclear weapons), Kim Jong Un, has issued a bold proclamation that the "sky's the limit" by launching a glitzy new reconnaissance satellite into outer space. While party planners in Tokyo have tried to hide their RSVP under the doormat, it seems pretty clear that North Korea intends to go ahead with its outer space extravaganza. Japanese citizens are somewhat disgruntled that their party crasher neighbor to the west refuses to adhere to proper, civilized etiquette. "Honestly, it's getting a bit out of hand," sighed local Tokyo resident Yuko Misaki, sipping on her ceremonial tea. "I mean, launching a rocket in a congested neighborhood is just plain rude. It's like having a fireworks display at 3 am." Japan's Prime Minister is rumored to be rushing to cobble together a retaliatory soirée, with preliminary themes ranging from "Heavy Artillery Happy Hour" to "Missile Missiletoe." Not to be outdone by Mr. Jong Un's celestial aspirations, the Prime Minister has floated the idea of upgrading Japan's space force and ensuring that guests have fully loaded arms for their party. When questioned about Kim Jong Un's motivation for the "Rocket Party," North Korean General Kim Da Bom explained that it's really all about getting a better view of the festivities. "It is true. Sometimes from down here it can be hard to see what is happening further down the street, like at the South Korean BBQ festival. With this satellite, our Dear Leader will be better able to ensure he never misses another block party." At the crux of the issue is North Korea's unyielding determination to outshine other Asian nations in the global social playground. "We just want our parties to be the talk of the town," the General confessed. "Japan's cherry blossom party last year really made our dear leader's blood boil. We had to do something to up the ante." While party preparations are in full swing, commentators have expressed concern about potential repercussions resulting from North Korea's penchant for throwing bombshell events. Though efforts have been made to convince Kim Jong Un that a good old-fashioned hot pot party might suffice, it seems nothing less than a sky-high shindig will do.
posted 10 months ago

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Original title: North Korea notifies neighboring Japan it plans to launch satellite in coming days

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