In a stunning turn of events that has left football fans and party planners alike in a tizzy, Neymar has officially parted ways with Al Hilal, and rumor has it he's taking applications for his next club—and his upcoming birthday party! After gently waving farewell to the Saudi Pro League side, Neymar announced that he is now a free agent and invites offers from clubs keen to lure him to their ranks. “I’m open to negotiation!” he proclaimed, before quickly adding, “But only if you come correct. I expect a signing bonus and a cake for my birthday, which is just around the corner!” Al Hilal, in an attempt to maintain a semblance of dignity, released a statement thanking Neymar for his contributions, which apparently included a couple of flashy goals and at least three thousand Instagram posts featuring his signature flashy lifestyle and culinary explorations across the globe. “We wish him all the best in his future endeavors, and maybe a little less time on social media,” the club added with a wink. As Neymar enters the open market, speculation as to his potential destination runs rampant. Some sources say he may reunite with Lionel Messi at Inter Miami, while others hint at a surprise return to Barcelona, where he can once again ride the roller coaster of emotions that comes with fans’ undying adoration and occasional backlash. But perhaps the biggest shocker is Neymar’s unconventional approach now that he’s back on the market. “Not only am I looking for a new club, but I am also searching for someone to throw the best birthday bash known to mankind,” Neymar declared with a seriousness that rivals his commitment to football. “I need a DJ who can play my hits and a cake designer who understands the delicate balance between flamboyance and subtlety. Oh, and don’t forget the confetti—lots of confetti!” Beyond cakes and contracts, Neymar's departure from Al Hilal has brought forth a wave of interest in potential suitors. Clubs worldwide are scrambling to put together proposals that not only showcase Neymar's footballing skills but also cater to his party-planning needs. “We have a bunch of clubs lined up, but they all need to submit their party itinerary along with their financial offer,” his agent noted. “If the color scheme and entertainment aren’t on point, I can guarantee you there’s no deal.” As Neymar embarks on this dual journey of finding a new football home and organizing a bash of epic proportions, one thing remains clear: The world can always count on him to make headlines—whether on or off the pitch. And while fans can’t wait to see where he’ll end up next, they’re equally excited to see what whimsical wonders his birthday celebration will bring. Suggestions are pouring in, but the final call might just rest on who can throw the best kickoff party.