In an astonishing display of talent and fortitude, a lone student from New Mexico has managed to eclipse the rest of the state’s collective efforts, bringing to light the somber reality that 2023 has been a year devoid of significant news. In a turn of events that can only be described as tragically ironic, the entire state seems to hinge on the shoulders of this one individual, who has been hailed as New Mexico’s sole “newsworthy” moment this year. Meet Ashley Martinez, a 17-year-old high school senior from Albuquerque, whose groundbreaking achievement of winning a local spelling bee has sent shockwaves through a state where headlines have otherwise remained painfully stagnant. In a competition that included an impressive total of seven participants, Ashley emerged victorious, adeptly spelling the word “onomatopoeia” – a feat that some are already comparing to the moon landing, primarily because, like that historic event, it made people feel something: utter disbelief and the subtle onset of existential dread. As New Mexicans scoured the internet looking for something—anything—to celebrate, Ashley’s spelling bee win became the default banner headline for a state that had otherwise been marked by a lack of noteworthy events. “It’s just sad,” said local observer Tom Richards, shaking his head. “When the biggest news is a kid spelling a fancy word, you know it’s been a bleak year for New Mexico. I mean, I’d take a minor earthquake or a celebrity driving through just to break the monotony.” Further compounding the situation is the state’s media coverage. In unprecedented fashion, news outlets dedicated a staggering amount of airtime and column inches to Ashley's win. Reporters flocked to the scene, capturing every moment of her momentous achievement, interviewing her teachers, and creating montages of her journey from an uninspiring childhood to her crowning success. One local news station even went so far as to conduct an exclusive, in-depth investigation into her study habits, which reportedly consist of “a lot of flashcards and crying.” Local businesses have also jumped on the bandwagon, with retailers rolling out “Ashley Appreciation Day” sales and cafes offering “Ashley’s Spelling Salads,” featuring a 15% discount for anyone who can pronounce “spelling bee” correctly on their first try. “It’s not that we don’t support local talent,” said Maria Gonzalez, owner of a beloved local diner. “But maybe we could be celebrating something a little more substantial than how to spell a word.” In a state where hopes, dreams, and news seem to vanish faster than a summer rain shower, Ashley’s triumph has stirred conflicting emotions. Yes, she has demonstrated that with hard work and dedication, anyone can achieve greatness, but it has simultaneously spotlighted the profound void where other achievements could have thrived. As Ashley prepares to graduate and hopefully venture into a world that knows more than just spelling bee victories, residents of New Mexico can’t help but wonder what 2024 will hold. Will it bring another solitary triumph, or perhaps the long-awaited breaking news of a cat stuck in a tree? Until then, we can only hold onto Ashley’s nascent glory, echoing through the empty corridors of a state all too familiar with the sound of silence.