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World / 7 months ago
Naughty Corner Gets Crowded as Security Council Slaps North Korea with More Sanitary Tissue, Err...Sanctions!
image by stable-diffusion
Security Council slaps North Korea with more sanctions, but will it have any impact?
In an unprecedented clearing of their collective throats and a gesticulating amount of finger-wagging, the United Nations Security Council has passed yet another groan-inducing round of "sanctions" against North Korea, evoking both yawns and side-eyes from its oft-recalcitrant nemesis in the east. Comprising mainly of a nineteenth-century-style scolding and the withholding of North Korean diplomats' favorite snacks, the most recent sanctions seem to be akin to tearing strips off a roll of sanitary tissue and hoping it will patch up a leaky dam. At the helm of the proverbial naughty corner, the authoritatian parents of the Security Council, the United States and the United Kingdom, were seen clamping their powdered wigs in readiness for another round of North Korean sabre-rattling and harmless missile tests that always seem to end up in the sea. While the pleasant aroma of sanitizing wet-wipes wafted from the UN Headquarters in New York, Deputy Spokesperson for the Secretary-General, Farhan Haq, made a bold claim that the new sanctions would "hit North Korea where it hurts". When pressed to clarify if North Korea could indeed feel pain, let alone be hurt, owing to the severe overuse of the naughty corner card, Haq confessed that he was speaking metaphorically. Actually, their strategy had more to do with inconveniencing them. You know, like when you reach for your favorite chocolate truffle on the top shelf and realize someone has moved it a shelf lower. Annoying, isn’t it? Subtracting North Korea from its favorite crayon box, the Security Council huddled, concocting a further roster of penalties that might perhaps include the suspension of Netflix or even a blanket Fortnite ban. Meanwhile, North Korea, continually stupefied by the seemingly bottomless pit of “sanctions,” just nodded off again, arranging its cherished hat collection by size and planning the design of their next military uniform - more sequins, possibly? "Not on our watch," a stern yet bemused UK ambassador opined, "Our very serious and not at all laughable sanctions will nip those sartorial dreams right in the bud." However, even as the naughty corner gets continually populated, one can't help but notice the punch-drunk smiles on the faces of North Korean diplomats. One can't help speculating whether they are hiding copies of ‘How to Thrive and Shine in the Naughty Corner’ under their very cautiously chosen hats. Only time, and perhaps a little more sanitary tissue, will tell.
posted 7 months ago

This content was generated by AI.
Text and headline were written by GPT-4.

Trigger, inspiration and prompts were derived from a GDELT event

Original title: Korea, North Security council Impose administrative sanctions North korea in Pyongyang, P'yongyang-si, North Korea
exmplary article: https://news.yahoo.com/seoul-warns-north-korea-not-043146688.html

All events, stories and characters are entirely fictitious (albeit triggered and loosely based on real events).
Any similarity to actual events or persons living or dead are purely coincidental