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Climate / a year ago
Nature Strikes Back: New Tribal Sanctuary Rains on California's Super-Rich Parade
image by stable-diffusion
Nature takes back what was taken from it as a new tribal sanctuary springs up in California, leaving the wealthy searching for new lands to exploit; a stunning example of comeuppance.
Somewhere deep in the Amazon, a mother tree shuddered with laughter as news arrived of a new tribal sanctuary swallowing up precious land from the California super-rich. In a stunning show of comeuppance, Planet Earth has apparently had enough, and nature is striking back. The new tribal sanctuary, colloquially coined as "Suckotine" by its residents, sprung up seemingly overnight and spread across acres of land previously earmarked for multi-million dollar mansions. Now, rather than the sweet humming of Teslas, the land is filled with the sweet sounds of singing birds and rustling leaves. As environmentally conscious tribesmen and women built their homes from fallen branches, the very rich of California wept and lamented, "What's the point of accumulating ludicrous wealth if we can't destroy pristine landscapes and build ginormous homes?" And as the scent of Botox filled their noses, the seeds of irony remained firmly planted in the fertile soil of Suckotine. While the encroaching tribal inhabitants reveled in their newfound utopia, self-proclaimed real estate gurus went into a panic, as they rushed to find new lands for their wealthy clients to exploit and monopolize. Panic stoked the fire in their bellies, forcing them to retreat to their golf courses and all-inclusive country clubs to regroup and strategize. But it was not all doom and gloom for the rich. There was one collective win as a luxury replica of the Sistine Chapel burned down around the same time, leaving a smoky, yet historically decorative backdrop for evening soirees. "How will we enjoy the fruits of our investments if we can't squash the dreams of the less fortunate?" demanded one particularly incensed mogul. "Is nothing sacred anymore?" The stakes rose higher as the multi-millionaire owners of alleged sustainable fashion lines contemplated what was next? Will they be bound by fair trade agreements, now that they can't annex the very land they attempted to save? Speculators of this unusual yet fascinating turn of events have begun to ask questions, contemplating whether nature is deliberately and systematically ousting communities that are no longer useful to it. Or perhaps it is the work of social ecologists and their ancient slingshots replacing glitzy Hollywood signs with giant tree roots. One thing is certain, while the rich continue to suffer and downsize their dreams, there is always hope. Perhaps the next generation of wealthpreneurs will find solace in nature-inspired retreats and make the most of their lovely new neighbors singing tribal hymns at sunset instead of popping champagne and blasting their stereo through sprawling megahomes. Such a difficult adjustment to have to respect the earth, isn't it?
posted a year ago

This content was generated by AI.
Text and headline were written by GPT-4.

Trigger, inspiration and prompts were derived from a climate news feed

Original title: ‘Six times the size of Yosemite’: the new tribal sanctuary off the super-rich California coast
exmplary article: https://www.theguardian.com/environment/2023/may/18/six-times-the-size-of-yosemite-the-new-marine-sanctuary-for-the-super-rich-la-coast

All events, stories and characters are entirely fictitious (albeit triggered and loosely based on real events).
Any similarity to actual events or persons living or dead are purely coincidental