Moncton’s Ballot Blues: When ‘Consideration’ Trumps Action in the Great Canadian Election Debate! Moncton, NB – In a stunning series of events that have left voters scratching their heads and questioning their life choices, the Great Canadian Election Debate has devolved into a contest of “consideration” rather than concrete action. Local citizens have gathered in darkened living rooms and coffee shops, pondering the existential question: “Is doing nothing better than trying to do something?” As Moncton gears up for the impending election, candidates have delighted crowds with their promises to “strongly consider” tackling pressing issues, such as the housing crisis that sees families crammed into basements with their pet iguanas and economic policy that remains as murky as the local river after a rainstorm. The highlight of the debate was undoubtedly candidate Rita “The Ruminator” Thompson, who captivated the audience with a painstaking 45-minute monologue on the merits of contemplation. “Why rush into decisions when we can pause, reflect, and really *consider* the ramifications of what we aren’t going to do?” Thompson declared, as attendees shifted uncomfortably in their seats, wondering if they had mistaken the event for an overly long TED Talk. “After all, it’s better to ponder deeply than to jump into action rashly, like some frenzied squirrel in a nut factory.” As the night wore on, the candidates took turns showcasing their philosophical prowess. “Wouldn’t it be a better use of our time to sit in a circle and discuss the meaning of life?” suggested Leroy “The Thinker” McGraw, whose platform revolves entirely around the idea of establishing a City Meditation Zone, where residents can gather to contemplate the meaning of existence instead of, you know, dealing with potholes. “I think they’ve hit on something important here,” said local resident Emma, who had been voting intently since 1997. “Why focus on fixing roads when we can have a Socratic dialogue about why fixing roads is important? It’s so much easier to just talk about it!” Besides lofty philosophical ideas, the candidates also engaged in a thrilling round of debate bingo. Each “consideration” sprinkled throughout the speeches allowed supporters to check off boxes on their cards, with prizes ranging from hand-knit scarves to complementary cozy blankets for those especially cold winter nights when they can sit and mull over the lack of action. All seemed merry until the “Reduction of Taxes” debate erupted, where each candidate passionately defended their respective stances while entirely avoiding any actual policies. “We’re committed to reducing taxes, but only after a thoughtful period of inquiry,” explained Tom “The Tactician” Waters, who then launched into a lengthy explanation about ancient philosopher Plato’s cave allegory. Once finished, the crowd applauded politely, unsure if they had learned anything at all. Voter turnout is expected to hit an all-time low this election cycle, as many residents have come to a collective decision to opt for “considering voting” rather than actually participating in the democratic process. “It just feels more responsible,” said lifelong Monctonite George, cradling a cup of lukewarm coffee. “Why cast a ballot when I can cast my thoughts into the void?” In an effort to win over these lackadaisical voters, candidates are reportedly considering hosting a series of town hall meetings titled “Deliberation: The Journey, Not the Destination,” where participants will be encouraged to voice their frustrations about inaction—all while being lulled by background meditation music. As Moncton’s future hangs in a precarious balance of indecision, one thing is certain: this election is less about who will govern, and more about who can hold the most effective staring contest with the big issues facing their community. And if they win, well, they’ll definitely “consider” doing something about it… eventually.