In a groundbreaking display of unity and grace, Sarawak's ministers have once again gathered in the vibrant heart of Sibu, where the only thing more plentiful than the famous Kompia is the pool of compliments being hurled around like confetti at a wedding. “The sprawling city of Sibu, where every street corner proudly boasts a coffee shop – or three – is simply a marvel,” chimed Minister of Tourism, who was notably seen squinting at a map that might not have mentioned the last viable sunbathing spot. “I mean, it’s got the best riverside views! You can see the river… well, if you can dodge the occasional boat traffic and the odd floating vegetable vendor!” The assembly of ministers sat huddled over tables laden with the quintessential Sibu dishes, which many say are best enjoyed when accompanied by the distinct aroma of “let's hope this isn’t the last meal before the vote!” The Education Minister, attempting to impress the cultural vibration of Sibu, declared, “I take my hat off to this incredible city! Where else can you find a place that embraces creativity, innovation, and... the opportunity to change your phone number three times a month because everyone keeps calling the wrong Sibu?” Taking the podium like a superhero emerging from a very questionable costume closet, the Minister of Infrastructure triumphantly declared, “Sibu is truly the epicenter of progress!” Pause. “Especially that one traffic light we have downtown, it’s an absolute beacon of hope... for all the drivers trying not to lose their minds!” As jokes flew through the air like poorly thrown satay sticks, the Minister of Local Government leaned back, smirked, and said, “You know, folks, if Sibu were a movie, it would be an action-packed thriller! Plot twist: the action just never starts. They say patience is a virtue, especially while waiting for the next road repair to happen… maybe in 2025!” “My fellow ministers,” the Chief Minister exclaimed with newfound vigor, “we love Sibu, and who wouldn’t? It’s like a treasure chest of nostalgia – you just have to ignore how it gets stuck sometimes from all the junk inside!” The upbeat banter continued to highlight everything from Sibu’s “open-air shopping mall” (a.k.a. the vast expanse of parking lots and cracked sidewalks) to the “iconic riverside smells” that can only be described as a mix of culinary genius and everything else that decided to float by. While the ministers trotted out their most diplomatic phrases with the charm of a rhino in a tutu, one cheeky local couldn’t help but call out, “Isn’t it great that our economy can thrive on slogans? ‘Sibu: where the coffee is strong, and the wi-fi is stronger!’” As laughter erupted amongst the ministers, they raised their glasses, toasting to the dream of Sibu transforming into a bustling metropolis… right after they fix the potholes and consider that pedestrian overpass strategy, which is rumored to be funded by a rather fiscal fairy godmother. And so, amidst sarcastic gratitude and patting each other on the back, Sarawak’s ministers left Sibu with yet another “endearing” visit, reminding us all that even in a land of congestion, one-lane bridges, and maybe too many fishballs, nothing beats good old-fashioned government cynicism.