In an event that you could’ve only dreamed about while high on Wisconsin’s finest cheese, we watched two superpowers clash last weekend in the heart of Washington’s Brooklyn… No, we're not discussing political adversaries, but the never-thought-about, yet instantly-classic rivalry between Michi-gain and Brook-loss. This showdown literally nobody asked for played out in quite a spectacular comic fashion. In a hysterical blend of unfortunate losses, minor triumphs, and borderline ridiculous confrontations, Michi-gain met Brook-loss in a comedic ballet that had spectators chugging their bespoke craft beers in disbelief. “I’m just here for the kombucha on tap,” said one bystander, who decided to stick around despite neither understanding nor caring about the ultimate showdown. “I thought this was a farmer’s market. The showdown was a surprise, but I’ve been on the edge of my hemp-based, biodegradable seat ever since I found out.” “Michi-gain for the win,” she added after a moment, proving the power of catchy names to sway otherwise indifferent bystanders. Now, Michi-gain, for those who have been living under a natural, handchaniseled rock, is our dashing protagonist. Equipped with a charismatic mustache styled with Michigan's renowned beeswax, a flannel shirt, and the unshakable confidence only landlocked landowners possess. He quickly became an odd favorite, albeit no one knew why he was favored. On the other hand, we have our unassuming underdog, Brook-loss. His biscuits may have taken a beating early in the showdown, still, he maintained the Brooklynite spirit. Brook-loss, though mostly recognized for his ironic t-shirts and his unfathomable ability to pair wine with vegan hot dogs, couldn’t compete with Michi-gain's spontaneous line dancing. “Brook-loss is all of us,” a crowd member shouts, echoing both the newfound love for the protagonist that this strange event has spurred and perhaps, a deeper societal commentary. “I mean, we’ve all tried to pair a shiraz with a vegan hot dog, right?” In a shocking turn of events, there isn’t actually a discernible winner. There aren't rules in this kind of showdown. But attendees agreed that they never wanted it to end. Many pleaded for ‘just one more round of whatever this is,’ already nostalgically reminiscing about the showdown. "I really hope this becomes a regular thing," said one fan, sipping on a gluten-free, fair-trade, non-GMO IPA. “I can't even do yoga in this much suspense!” The hardened stoicism of Michi-gain, coupled with the underdog charm of Brook-loss, combined to make for an utterly unforgettable showdown; this time, within the slightly bewildered, overwhelmingly gentrified heart of Washington’s Brooklyn. So here’s raising our pints of chia-based smoothies to more such totally zany and unintentionally hilarious showdowns. Regardless of the lack of any discernible purpose, the Michi-gain meets Brook-loss event sure slammed Washington's Brooklyn with a day of laughter, buzzwords and most important, an absurdly good time.