Meta's "Red Table Talk" Replaced with "Blue Table Lament" In a surprise move, Meta has ended its relationship with Jada Pinkett Smith's online talk show "Red Table Talk," announcing an even more revolutionary virtual reality-based replacement: "Blue Table Lament." The disruptive program, featuring three-dimensional-simulated sob sessions of celebrities and commoners alike, was unveiled at a filled-with-tears press conference on Thursday. Wiping their virtual tears and hugging for consolation, the show's creator and producer apologized for any inconvenience caused by the abrupt cancellation of "Red Table Talk." "We realized that moving people's hearts just wasn't enough for a company called Meta - we needed to move their entire existence through the powerful VR experience," said the tearful CEO. "The digitized blue table simulates deep sorrow and unhappiness in virtual reality, perfect for discussing all things tragic and miserable." The mostly-unhappy audience was given a preview of the pioneering format, where virtual guests are seated at a shiny blue table, expressing their laments about love, life, and everything in between – all in resplendent realism. Questions from the host will no longer come from real-world, empathetic humans, but rather from a computer-generated voice, to ensure emotional neutrality. Industry insiders report that Meta may be in talks with prominent Hollywood figures who are known for their public displays of anguish. Suggestions include Ex-Red Table Talk host Jada Pinkett Smith, who could spill secrets about her marriage, or perhaps a virtual avatar of Britney Spears, who could discuss her intense battle with conservatorship. A leaked copy of a show proposal reveals that each guest will be required to cry, scream, or otherwise display raw, unrestrained emotion in front of their fully immersive audience. In response, 3D viewers at home will be encouraged to embody their sadness and discontentment while interacting with the show's protagonists. Despite the extreme contrast with traditional online talk shows, Meta remains confident in its ability to drive this innovative project forward. A spokesperson for the company brushed off concerns about the potential emotional toll on viewers, stating, "In this age of virtual reality, we no longer need to worry about the repercussions of our media. It's all just data and pixels, after all! Happy crying, everyone!" The future of the "Blue Table Lament" remains uncertain, but one thing is clear: life on the internet is anything but predictable, an idea taken to heart by the endlessly creative masterminds at Meta.