In a groundbreaking move that has shocked and delighted both conspiracy theorists and casual scroll-happy Facebook users, Meta has officially declared that facts are overrated. At a press conference held in a virtual reality space that may or may not exist, CEO Mark Zuckerberg unveiled what he proudly described as the “Free Speech Buffet” – an all-you-can-eat smorgasbord of misinformation, opinions, and outright fabrications served up on a platter of unregulated digital discourse. "We're throwing out the rulebook and, frankly, any semblance of truth," Zuckerberg announced, wearing a shirt emblazoned with the slogan "Alternative Facts are Still Facts." Surrounded by a haze of pixels and emojis, he promised a new era where users could share stories about how the moon landing was staged alongside recipes for avocado toast, all without the pesky intrusion of pesky actual facts. Meta’s previous fact-checking program, which sought to curb the rampant spread of misinformation, has officially been “sent to the shadow realm,” according to sources close to the company. "Why should we bother with fact-checking when we can just let democracy happen in real-time?" Zuckerberg posed rhetorically, as attendees feasted on virtual hot dogs and pixelated nachos. Critics have expressed concern that the platform’s new direction may allow for the rapid proliferation of fake news, extremist views, and cat videos claiming to be legitimate news sources. However, Zuckerberg reassured the public that misinformation is a crucial component of “free expression,” stating, “If people want to believe that birds are government drones, who are we to stop them? We’re just looking to make Facebook fun again!” The Free Speech Buffet will not only remove restrictions on speech but will also encourage users to embrace their inner troll. “We’re launching a clown emoji that users can attach to their posts to indicate that they’re just joking (or are they?). It's up to the readers to decipher reality,” he explained with a grin, a move critics have dubbed the “Pants on Fire” initiative. As part of this new policy, all content moderation teams have been reassigned to monitoring dance challenges and viral meme contests, leaving the fate of truth in the hands of the masses. “We trust our users to find the truth through the magic of trial and error,” Zuckerberg stated, nodding toward an oversized pile of what appeared to be spaghetti, symbolizing the complex web of information consumers will navigate. Meta also plans to roll out new features that allow users to customize their experience along different ‘truth scales,’ ranging from “Blissfully Ignorant” to “Conspiracy Confirmed.” Users excitedly speculated how this might impact algorithmic recommendations, with one user jokingly predicting, “I can’t wait for my feed to be just 10-hour loops of flat Earth discussions!” As the world eagerly awaits the chaos and creativity that will unfold on Meta’s platforms, one thing is certain: free expression has never tasted so sweet, or so absurd. So, grab your digital forks and knives, because the buffet is officially open—and facts are officially off the menu.