In a stunning turn of events that has left Marylanders scratching their heads and furiously Googling maps, the state has officially declared a new tourism initiative: "Maryland Mayhem: A Crabcake-Fueled Tour of Our State's Most Confusing Roads!" The campaign aims to highlight Maryland's unique blend of delectable crabcakes and roadways that could befuddle the most seasoned navigators. The initiative was born out of a series of highly publicized incidents where tourists — and locals alike — ended up somewhere between Frederick and the Bermuda Triangle, thanks largely to the state’s infamous intersections that seem to have run a conspiracy against logic. "We figured, if they’re going to get lost, they might as well enjoy some crabcakes while they do it," said the newly appointed Director of Tangential Tourism, Chuck Clumsy. The state has prepared a whimsical brochure highlighting some of the top attractions along this journey for culinary connoisseurs, including the notorious "Crumpled Crab Road" (adjustments are reportedly forthcoming to a neighboring section called "Dead End Lane"), and a thrilling excursion over the "Three Swerves of Severna Park." The tour promises to pause every few confusing turns to allow exhausted drivers a chance to inhale a crabcake through conveniently located food trucks emblazoned with slogans like “Get Crabby with Us!” and “Seafood Sagas and Semi-Circles.” Residents have begun to voice their approval — and confusion — over the initiative. "Nothing says local charm like a crabcake sandwich while I’m stuck on ‘the Bends of Boring,’” marvels lifelong resident Betty Bypass. “I’ve lived here my whole life, and I still can’t figure out how to exit the beltway!” Influencers and fellow foodies are flocking to Maryland’s streets to partake in a full-blown scavenger hunt, as they attempt to document the most hilariously convoluted routes. “I had to circle around and take the ‘Scenic Route’ four times, which turned out to be just a clever name for this bizarre spiral in Owings Mills,” reported local TikTok star, Shellfish Sally. “At least I captured some great content while digging into an extra spicy Chesapeake crabcake!” Critics of the campaign raise their eyebrows at the sight of the “Crab-navigating" GPS app launched alongside the initiative, which is reportedly powered by map data from 1997—not exactly precise for a state with a reputation for changing road signs more often than it changes seasons. “Why can’t we simply have regular roads?” grumbled local traffic engineer, Peter Pothole. “We already have plenty of confusion! Why would we add crabcakes into the mix?” Regardless of the skepticism, businesses are cashing in. Local crab shacks have seen an unprecedented spike in requests for their signature "Lost in Maryland" crabcake platter, which features an assortment of mixed seafood forms, all carefully tossed together in gloriously messy smorgasbord fashion. "It's like a road trip on a plate!" said crabcake chef and self-described road enthusiast, Sandy Shore. As the campaign rolls on amidst laughter, grumbles, and the mildly chaotic navigation typical of life in Maryland, some are beginning to wonder if perhaps, in the end, the only thing more confusing than the roads themselves are the people who willingly choose to travel them – especially if there are crabcakes involved. “At least I know, no matter where I end up, I’m definitely not leaving without my crabcakes,” said local enthusiast, Mike Meander. So, buckle up, Marylanders! It looks like a wacky, crab-infused ride ahead on the Lost Highway with crabcake pit stops. And remember, if you find yourself at a random dead-end while driving through the lovely state, just look for the nearest crabcake truck. After all, getting lost has never tasted so good!