SAO PAULO - In an effort to beat the heat both meteorologically and metaphorically, Manchester United's winger Antony has been politely asked - or, well, more like unceremoniously booted - from the Brazilian squad for two upcoming World Cup qualifiers, following allegations of a somewhat turbulent relationship with his ex-girlfriend. In a typical Monday fashion, Brazilian media added a dash of drama to everyone's routines, shining their inquisitive spotlight on a fresh scandal. Allegations concerning Antony's domestic tasting-for turmoil surfaced, inciting a hailstorm of gossip around the footballer. The Brazilian Soccer Confederation, sincerely shocked - or maybe it was the garlic from their lunch - announced that Antony would not be kicking around with the team for games against Bolivia and Peru. A vague press statement citing "facts that became public on Monday" was released, lest anyone be confused that this had something to do with Antony's questionable taste in footwear. While the rumors of Antony and his former flame's 'romantic' boxing matches began to spread, the player also found himself in hot water with the police. His ex-girlfriend formally accused him of domestic violence on May 20, charges that Antony has vehemently denied. However, his alibi of being busy learning the Macarena for an upcoming charity event has yet to be validated. Brazilian football fans are now faced with the existential question of how to fake support for a team that now lacks one Antony-sized piece from its jigsaw puzzle. Fans are helplessly observing their team's wing area, their hearts fluttering in uncertainty - much like a one-legged flamingo. When approached for comment on the matter, Antony responded with a perplexed, "Who, me?" followed by a valiant effort to look innocent - perhaps too innocent. As the situation unravels, football fans everywhere are left wondering if they'll ever see Antony back in Brazil colors - or if he'll find himself on a permanent timeout. It seems for Antony, the old adage "Love and football don't mix" currently rings true. Although, if he's smart, he'll take this temporary setback as an opportunity to polish up his Macarena moves - assuming it doesn't involve any alleged knockout swings.