In an unprecedented move that shocked both tourists and locals alike, Rome announced a new initiative this week aimed at combining the traditional guided tour experience with a series of outrageous and completely unexpected adventures, all while guaranteeing that at least half of the time, gelato will be involved. Dubbed the "Male in Rome" program, this initiative was launched by the city’s tourism department, which is clearly under the influence of caffeine, succumbing to that particularly Italian blend of creativity and chaos. According to officials, the aim is to attract both mundane tourists and thrill-seekers alike, giving everyone a chance to witness the beauty of Rome while precariously dangling from the side of a Vespa. "Why simply visit the Colosseum when you can do so while bungee jumping off the Spanish Steps—in a toga!" exclaimed Luigi Gelatoni, head of the initiative and purported connoisseur of mischief. “With our program, we aim to make every dull historical fact a life-or-death experience. It’s about immersing in the culture… and ensuring that our gelato shops’ revenues remain robust.” Participants in "Male in Rome" will start their day with a mandatory two-hour lecture on the art of hand-gesture communication—because, apparently, understanding local etiquette is vital when ordering an extra scoop of stracciatella on a roller-coaster tour of Trastevere. Following this enlightening preamble, tourists will be herded into gelato-colored, oversized rickshaws that redefine the term “group activity.” Once strapped in, the adventure begins. Events include racing through the narrow streets to catch the perfect view of the Trevi Fountain while shouting random Italian phrases learned in the previous two hours, like “Mamma mia!” and “I can’t believe it’s not gelato!” Amidst the chaos, tourists must toss coins into the fountain at the same time, with the stakes set at whoever can make the most accurate throw while screaming “Basta!” wins a week’s supply of gelato. And who could forget the “Lost in Vatican City” challenge? In this event, tourists will be blindfolded and spun around several times before being released into the Vatican to search for the real Pope. Misunderstandings are encouraged, thanks to the organizers’ promise that a “bonus gelato” will be awarded for every failed attempt. Despite the inherent dangers of this approach, experts claim that tourism numbers will spike. “Nothing says ‘I love history’ like teetering on the edge of a historic fountain while worrying about which statue your foot might ruin if you fall,” noted local historian Francena Latte. “And if you can do this while recovering from an unexpected gelato coma, all the better!” Local businesses have expressed mixed reactions. Gelato shops, for instance, are gearing up for what may be their busiest season ever, while stitches are warning that they may see an uptick in injuries due to a closed combination of gelato-induced brain freezes and spontaneity. Critics, however, warn that this program could lead to unforeseen consequences, such as potential international incidents stemming from miscommunicated phrases or overzealous toasting with gelato. "It sounds fantastic until someone's tasting gelato on the Vatican steps and accidentally challenges the Swiss Guard to a duel," said one concerned citizen. "This can’t end well." As tourists flock to sign up for this absurd tour—now suddenly the must-have experience of 2023—one thing is clear: if you’re ever in Rome and you hear a loud scream coupled with laughter followed by gelato-centric exclamations, just know someone is fulfilling their travel dreams while simultaneously surviving and, of course, enjoying ice cream. Welcome to Rome—not just a city, but a tasty adventure!