In a stunning display of environmental disregard and corporate favoritism, Louisiana has awarded yet another approval for a gas export terminal, prompting cheers from the fossil fuel industry and a collective shrug from Mother Nature. As local wildlife continues to clutch its pearls in horror, state officials have thrown caution—and any semblance of ecological integrity—straight into the Gulf of Mexico. The new terminal, which promises to be the crowning jewel of Louisiana's energy sector, will have the capacity to ship out enough liquefied natural gas to fill the dreams of every oil baron from here to Houston. “We’re thrilled,” said an unnamed state official, who, after lengthy discussions with various lobbyists, was convinced that the public's love for job creation outweighs any concerns about climate change. “What could possibly go wrong with building massive industrial structures next to an ecosystem that’s already on life support?” Environmentalists, who would prefer to see efforts channeled toward renewable energy sources, have been irresponsibly vocal about their fears. “It’s not like we’ll end up under water in twenty years or anything,” scoffed an eco-activist, while nervously checking the latest tidal flooding projections. “Oh, wait—never mind.” In a masterclass of irony, the groundbreaking ceremony for the terminal coincided with International Day for the Preservation of the Ozone Layer. Attendees were invited to enjoy complimentary air fresheners, branded with the terminal’s logo, as a statement of solidarity between industry and planet. “We all breathe the same air,” said one celebrant, inhaling deeply. “Let’s just ignore the fact that it’s being filled with more pollutants every day!” Critics have raised eyebrows at the ease with which the approval process sailed through the regulatory waters, prompting speculation about a backroom deal orchestrated by influential stakeholders. “It’s not corruption if you can convince yourself it’s just ‘business as usual,’” explained a grinning corporate executive. “And by ‘usual,’ I mean throwing the environment under the bus while our shareholders smile all the way to the bank.” The terminal is projected to create thousands of jobs—at least that’s what the glossy brochures say. Many locals, however, seem skeptical. “Yeah, but what happens when they start cutting corners to save money?” muttered a worker at a nearby factory, who has seen layoffs and outsourcing become common. “I’ll take my chances with renewable energy, thanks.” Meanwhile, the local fishing industry, which has been thriving for generations, is also expected to benefit, provided they can adapt to the glut of heavy machinery and pipeline construction. “Catching fish in a toxic soup is totally doable!” exclaimed a fisherman, his optimism blissfully uninformed by the data on declining fish populations. “One way or another, it’s all about resourcefulness, right?” As construction begins and the faint scent of natural gas wafts through Louisiana’s coastal towns, the residents can take solace in knowing that they are helping to usher in a new era of energy independence, all while ignoring the gnawing sense of impending doom. After all, it's easier to turn a blind eye than to confront the reality of climate change—especially when there’s money to be made.