Mount Pleasant, North Carolina, once a flourishing hub of textile production, has now found itself in a bit of a pickle, not to mention a puddle. After years of watching its charming streets devolve into picturesque water features, town officials were counting on an influx of FEMA funding to resurrect their beleaguered community. But alas, as luck would have it, this money seems to have drowned somewhere along the way, leaving local bureaucrats floundering like fish out of water. In a bold move to streamline operations, the town initiated a highly ambitious plan to redevelop its stormwater drainage system. "We figured if we can't control the water, we might as well make it part of our brand," explained Town Council Member, Misty Floodwater. In a town where historic mills have long been replaced by a nearby lake, the council is embracing the situation – literally. Their motto? “Stormwater: Just Wants to Have Fun!” Hopes were high for a renovation of the old theater—once a jewel of local entertainment—now just an echo of crumbling beauty and soggy upholstery. The new plans proposed a multi-purpose venue that would either lure in business for the revitalization or serve as a stylish boat launch. “We’re calling it ‘The Wet Stage,’” said co-owner of the new opportunity, Mickey Raft. “It’s like ‘Wet T-Shirt Night,’ but, you know, more inclusive!” As the town's dreams of rain-proof infrastructure evaporate, rumors have surfaced that FEMA’s funding has instead washed away into the pockets of more ‘deserving’ disaster zones. “We did everything right,” claimed Mayor Sunny Daylight, donning a pair of wellies and pushing a child on a swing set submerged in the park. “We filled out forms, attended every seminar, even hosted a bake sale! If they don’t get back to us, I’ll personally send a storm surge to D.C.” Meanwhile, the townspeople have taken matters into their own hands—or rather, their own boats. The local Driftwood Optimist Club now offers guided canoe tours of the submerged downtown area, showcasing not only fascinating local history but also a prime opportunity for pop-up fish fry events. “We might be underwater, but this town has spirit!” shouted Helen Treadwater, waving an oar while negotiating an enthusiastic biker gang for entry to her makeshift pop-up shop, “Paddle & Pies.” As funds remain elusive, and the only business revival appears to be themed around water sports, a growing faction of residents is calling for a pivot from FEMA funding to a more ‘ocean-friendly’ approach. “We should lean into it,” suggested local entrepreneur Sandy Shore. “Let’s turn this into a ski resort! Fake snow, sun, and a little slice of paradise to escape the stress of normal life!” In closing, while the hope of a new and vibrant Mount Pleasant may seem as distant as the bottom of Lake Pleasant, residents continue to embrace the chaos with their collective buoyancy. “One way or another, we’ll float through this,” declared Council Member Floodwater as she sink back into the depths of unfulfilled paperwork. After all, who needs infrastructure when you have creativity, camaraderie, and a whole lot of rain?