In a groundbreaking move to stimulate economic revival and deepen friendships across the board, the White House has officially declared today as "Bail Out Your Buddies" Day. Citizens are encouraged to pick up the slack for their underperforming pals, with bailouts ranging from pizza orders to student loans and everything in between. In an executive order signed this morning, President Happy-Go-Lucky announced that each American would receive a complimentary "$100 Buddy Bond," which can be redeemed on any friend or acquaintance who has recently run into a bit of financial trouble. This includes those individuals who decided to invest in a "sure thing" cryptocurrency, those who took up artisanal avocado farming (without a single avocado), and, of course, that one friend who can’t seem to stop "borrowing" your favorite hoodie. At the kickoff event held on the Rose Garden lawn, complete with inflatable cash balloons and a mascot dressed as a giant dollar bill, the President encouraged attendees to really get into the spirit of the day. "We believe that friendship is the best currency. And if your buddy had the courage to make a terrible financial decision, you should have the courage to pay their tab!" said the President, tossing out fistfuls of Monopoly money to the enthusiastic crowd. Economics experts are predicting a sudden boom in national "friend loans." "This is going to change everything," said Professor Penny Wise of the Institute of Crowdfunding and Fiscal Responsibility. "Expect to see 'Bailout Buddies' trending on social media. It’s not just a lighthearted day; it’s a financial revolution! We might end the age of debt and usher in a new era of total financial irresponsibility!" Critics are already taking aim at the initiative. “This is just a way for everyone to share the burden of poor financial choices,” scoffed Ms. No-Fun, leading the charge against the administration's agenda. “Are we now supposed to go around bailing out our friends’ gym memberships too? If someone can’t afford their kale smoothie, maybe they should rethink their life choices!” In response, the White House unveiled a series of fun promotional materials, including bumper stickers that read “Bail Out or Bail On,” and self-help posters suggesting that the "Caring Community" is just a well-funded credit union. The nationwide celebration event features an award for the "Best Bailout," with categories including “Most Outrageous Request” and “Worst Friend Ever.” To sweeten the deal, each American who participates in "Bail Out Your Buddies" Day will be automatically entered into a raffle for a chance to win the grand prize: a lifetime supply of overpriced artisanal coffee, guaranteed to caffeinate your friendships through any challenging economic venture. So grab your "Buddy Bonds" and gather your group of questionable influencers! The only thing more entertaining than celebrating friendship all day is publically bailing out those who desperately need it. After all, nothing says camaraderie quite like a collective financial rescue mission for those dreadfully bad decisions.