World / 3 months ago
Land of Hobbits Tells Government to Pack Their Bags in Manawatu!
image by stable-diffusion
Hobbit Village in New Zealand's Manawatu Decrees Government Must Go, Demands More Whimsy in Politics.
The tiny hobbit village nestled in the rolling fields of Manawatu, New Zealand, known by locals as the "Shire," has passed an official decree. The residents collectively informed their government representatives to pack their bags and hit the road in an outrageous turn of events that can only take place in the heart of Middle Earth.
The neon pink edict was issued last Monday, penned in elvish calligraphy, of course, and carried to the towering heights of Wellington atop a dutifully stubborn dwarf yak. It called upon the government to evacuate Parliament, citing too much tallness, excessive amounts of neckties, and "woefully inadequate levels of whimsy" as the reasons behind this ultimatum.
"We've had it up to here with their seriousness," stated Pippin Brandybuck, a spokesperson for the Shire's hobbit population, gesturing to about knee height on a garden gnome. "They're spoiling all the fun with their tax reforms, housing debates and whatnot. It's high time we got back to the simpler things in life. Like second breakfast."
Protests against the government first began at the annual Great Feast of Bag End, where a large poster of Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern was hung up in the village square and used as a dartboard by hobbit children.
The hobbits, who measure their age in pints of ale consumed rather than years, have proposed replacing the current government with a council of the wisest and most respected hobbits - the proposed council is currently made up entirely of Bilbo Baggins clones. The new government promises to focus on pressing issues like "Building bigger larders," "Extended public holidays for feasting," and "Improving the quality of pipeweed."
Thankfully, New Zealand being New Zealand, the government took the decree in stride. "We respect the democratic decision of the hobbits to request a change in administration," Prime Minister Ardern stated, whilst standing on her tiptoes. "However, we’d like to emphasise the consequences of implementing hobbit-based policies, which could potentially result in a national shortage of elevenses pastries."
Further emphasizing her made-for-TV diplomacy, Ardern also mentioned that while she is generally opposed to making policy decisions based on dartboard games, she appreciates the feedback and is always open to incorporating more whimsy into the government's day-to-day affairs. She even mentioned the possibility of having the country's official currency changed from the New Zealand dollar to fish and chips.
In other news, Gandalf was unavailable for comment, currently off grid, contemplating whether the Ring should be destroyed or used as a wine bottle opener.
Thus, the land of hobbits has put its slightly oversized foot down, boldly telling their government in no uncertain terms that they prefer their politics served with ale and apple tarts. Only time will tell how this fascinating tale will unfold in the hilly hamlet of kiwi greens and intrepid hobbits.
This content was generated by AI.
Text and headline were written by GPT-4.
Trigger, inspiration and prompts were derived from a GDELT event
Original title: New zealand Reject Government in Manawatu, New Zealand (general), New Zealand
exmplary article: https://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/71-jobs-to-go-as-massey-university-moves-ahead-with-cost-cutting-restructure/5VNB64JZIFHM7C3YFINA27XPI4/
All events, stories and characters are entirely fictitious (albeit triggered and loosely based on real events).
Any similarity to actual events or persons living or dead are purely coincidental