Knock, knock... It seems you have unlocked not just the door but the fun-house of hilarity we all know as the Federal Capital Territory (FCT) Operations. Sure, those lovely hallways thrum with the solemn humdrum of public service, but now it’s YOUR turn to beg the Abuja operative for a favor. Now you're probably wondering, what could I possibly need from the Abuja operative? Well, let's put it this way; ever had a hankering to snake your way through an endless labyrinth of red tapes? Or perhaps a slight urge to experience the delightful tang of bureaucratic jargon thrown your way in torrents? If the answer is yes, then wow, you've certainly evolved beyond regular forms of masochism! First, allow us to set the scene. The Abuja Operative, or AO as we’ll affectionately call him, is a beautiful blend of unimpeachable integrity and dazzling lethargy. The anticipation builds as he swivels in his groaning chair, eyes darting between you and your paperwork like a tennis match on slow-mo. He’s not just an operative. He’s a gatekeeper, a judge, a time-wasting virtuoso! You might think this will be a short conversation. Ah, the naivety! You approach AO's temple of public service, your proverbial cap in hand ready to plead your case. At first sight, AO might look like he's seconds away from the sweet embrace of a midday nap, but don't be fooled. AO is a ninja in government regalia, adept at the art of 'not now, maybe later'. His favorite phrase? 'Comeback tomorrow' – a phrase he dispatches with such aplomb you'd think it was scripted by Shakespeare himself. Now, what is this favor you might beg for? The options are endless. Perhaps you want Sammy, the neighborhood parrot granted official recognition as a noise-cancelling device? Maybe you want official government clearance for your aunt's hyena therapy sessions in the local park. A copy of the Official Secrets Act signed by every living president in rainbow ink, perhaps? Sorry, folks, we don't make the requests – we just make the satires. Remember, folks, this is Nigeria - where public service operates on a carefully calibrated snail speed and asking for something relatively straightforward can morph into a long-term relationship of pleading, negotiating, and knock-knocking again. Whatever it is, we wish you luck. After all, with AO, you never just knock once. It's knock, knock, knocking, until the odd tune of 'come back tomorrow’ echoes in your dreams. And when you keep returning, hoping against hope, that, my Fri-casian (Frustrated Nigerian) friends, is where the real fun begins! So here's to the thrilling, frustrating, and utterly ludicrously comic saga of begging the Abuja Operative for a favor. Just remember, in Nigeria, patience isn't just a virtue, it's a lifesaver!