In a shocking yet almost comical turn of events, Israel has officially declared that it will now engage in hostage swaps resembling a child’s trading card game, drawing comparisons to the old school barter techniques of playground negotiations. In a press conference where Israeli President Isaac Herzog was flanked by oversized posters of released hostages as if they were baseball cards, he emphasized, “We’re not just negotiating; we’re curating a collection!” The new strategy has sparked both hope and confusion, as numerous parents gave interviews while clutching the latest “Kfir” edition, a “rare find,” they claim, having been absent since he was just nine months old. The mechanics of this unique exchange involve colorful flashcards featuring photographs of hostages, complete with special abilities and fun facts. One card, the “Resilient Roni,” boasts the power of “Family Reunion” while another, “Courageous Chet,” flashes a bold “Back in Action” move that supposedly evokes tears from the most hardened negotiators. “It’s like Pokémon,” explained one enthusiastic parent holding up her collection while reminiscing over the days when Kfir could have been seen crawling in his crib rather than being part of a high-stakes diplomatic strategy. “I just want to complete my set of kids. But let’s be honest, who would trade away a kid for a few convicted prisoners? I’m not sure where the value lies here.” Meanwhile, a local street artist has begun selling parody t-shirts featuring the phrase “Kidnapping Kids: Not a Game We Signed Up For” as protests arise across the country. “I mean, hostage-taking is just a poor imitation of Monopoly at this point,” quipped a protester, holding a sign reading “Free Both Sides – And Also, Free Snacks.” Tel Aviv’s streets have transformed into a lively hub of surreal negotiation as families gather with backpacks stuffed with potential trading cards while diplomats huddle in serious discussion, eyes darting back and forth as trades are proposed. “I’ve got two ‘Gaza Kid’ cards; what will you offer me for one?” As Herzog closed the day’s press conference, his voice broke with emotion as he added, “Each released hostage deserves time to rehabilitate, rebuild, and perhaps find a cozy spot in someone’s trading card binder.” Amid the chaos, a few children released from captivity might just return to a rather different understanding of playtime. With his eye firmly on the potential booming business of “Hostage Trading Card Collecting,” Herzog has announced plans for a new initiative called “Swap for Hope,” promising branded dinners where families can barter items related to their loved ones. As tensions rise and negotiations unfold, one thing remains clear: in a game nobody wants to play, every side truly longs for a different kind of release.