In a shocking twist of fate that no one saw coming—except perhaps the entire city of Manchester—Amad Diallo has decided to join the ranks of injured Manchester United players with a spectacularly timed ankle ligament injury that could end his season. Just when the Red Devils thought they might be crawling back up from the abyss of mediocrity, Amad’s ankle has come in to say, “Not so fast!” The 22-year-old Ivorian winger, who has somehow managed to shine amidst the gloom of United’s disastrous season, has been the team’s lone beacon of hope. Diallo has taken the field 36 times this season, showcasing his talents with an impressive nine goals and seven assists. Alas, as if the football gods conspired against United, it appears that Amad’s ankle has decided to take an extended vacation at the worst possible time. Fans had hoped that under new head coach Ruben Amorim, the club might finally have a strategy that involves something more than just kicking a ball vaguely in the direction of the goal. But with Amad’s injury, the only strategy left might involve figuring out which way is up. Amorim, who is believed to be negotiating with the universe for a break from catastrophe, will now have to channel his inner magician to field a competitive squad without one of his most reliable players. “There’s always a silver lining,” said a baffled supporter who’s been following United for decades. “At least now we can focus on the art of not winning with a full roster instead of just half of one!” The injury has sparked relentless speculation about how United will cope without their fiesty winger. Rumors of a “bring back the players from the 1999 treble-winning squad” campaign have already sent the club’s fans into a frenzy, pushing for the return of any former player who still has a pulse—after all, what’s the worst that could happen? In light of this development, United’s training staff is reportedly working round the clock to innovate new methods for injury prevention, including bubble wrap uniforms and a strict no-contact policy in training. Just in case that doesn’t pan out, there are whispers of plans to adopt a strategy involving oversized bubble balls, ensuring that players remain encased in safety while chasing after the elusive victory. While Amad is out, fans can take solace in the fact that at least his ankle will have plenty of time to heal—likely allowing it to contemplate the existential crisis that is supporting Manchester United. Time will tell if the team can find its footing or if they’ll just be stuck in a cycle of ankle injuries and dismal performances, all while Amad’s once-promising season limps away into obscurity.