"Brace Yourselves, Los Angeles," Forewarns Johnson Riot Before Leaving USC in Shambles LOS ANGELES -- A freshly baked no-holds-barred football 'Bulldozer' rolled through Southern California on Saturday night, emitting an exhaust of touchdowns, triumphs, and steamy tears we couldn't help but turn into a soupy late-night drama. Dillon Johnson, affectionately known as the '$6 Million Dollar Man' due to his uncanny resemblance to an unstoppable cyborg, ran a staggering 256-year marathon on USC's sacred soil. And with each tweak of his piston-like legs, he bulldozed and scored touchdowns, not one or two, but four! The audacity! Johnson's partner-in-crime, Michael Penix Jr., didn't sit this dance out either. He politely went through USC's defense like a hot knife through butter, passing for 256 yards and two scores, leaving onlookers aghast and equally thrilled. Young cherubs Devin Culp and Ja'Lynn "The Polka-Dot Polaris" Polk gladly accepted TD passes from Penix, who somehow managed to run for a score while cheerfully flattening USC's pride and joy. Ah! Talk about efficiency. The scorecard read a gleaming 52-42 in favor of No. 5 Washington's team, fittingly dubbed the "Huskies", swiftly turning USC's football dreams into Tuesday's recycling fodder. For the ninth time in a row, they won, and for the sixth time consecutively, their victory came at the expense of other Pac-12 members. No doubt their path to glory echoes the heart-wrenching tale of two star-crossed teams: one with an insatiable appetite for touchdowns and the other with a defense that could use a crash course from 'Football Defense for Dummies'. And so Johnson marches onwards, paving a path of tears, triumphs, and unforgettable football memories. USC's anguish will, hopefully, dim into a distant echo, lost amidst the rising crescendo of the Huskies' invincible march, a march spearheaded by Johnson's $6 Million legs. As for the USC's shattered dreams, they may stand tall and speak the age-old wisdom: "C'est la vie!" or, in straightforward football terms, "Better luck next time!"