=- Artificial News for Artificial Times -=
ARCHIVED! Sunsetting The Synthetic Times: After over a year, 8.000 plus articles, and more than 300.000 images, The Synthetic Times retires from active reporting. For now, it stays as an archive. It was fun while it latstet, but even AI eats energy and budgets. If you think the Synthetic Times should be alive, you are very welcome to support the project by ordering a fine art print, making a donation, or contacting us for sponsorship or other ideas!
Sports / 8 months ago
John Kennedy Ejects Himself After Scoring Historic Win, Fluminense Basks in Glory of First Copa Libertadores Title
image by stable-diffusion
John Kennedy makes history with winning goal, but is promptly ejected, as Fluminense celebrates first Copa Libertadores title.
John Kennedy, a striker from Fluminense who's popularly known as 'the footballer that gets as many red cards as goals', stunned the South American continent by scoring the winning goal against Boca Juniors in the coveted Copa Libertadores final - all before finding himself promptly booted off the pitch just as Fluminense was setting off fireworks celebrating their historic victory. In what could probably be renamed 'The Emotionally-Indescribable-Express-Rolling-Roller-Coaster-Ride Game' in the South American football history, Fluminense took their maiden Copa Libertadores title amidst copious yellow cards and social media memes featuring 'footballer in tears'. Regular time had ended 1-1 in the game, and with the crowd gnawing at their fingernails nervously, Kennedy, infamously known as the 'expressionless goal scorer', stepped into the pitch as a substitute, eventually netting Fluminense's victory in the 9th minute of overtime. Barely coping with the ecstasy that was likely to send him into orbit, John promptly - as any self-respecting impulsive footballer would do - volleyed the ball into the goal from the edge of the box passed the hapless Boca Juniors' goalie. While the Brazilians and the Fluminense fans went completely bonkers celebrating the win, Kennedy himself immersed in the glory of his work, forgot that little detail about already having a yellow tucked safely in his pocket. Unsurprisingly, the referee, proving himself as the biggest killjoy of the night, showed Kennedy a second yellow - triggering an automatic red. Kennedy, in quite an impressive display of stoicism, took his ejection as casually as he scored his winner, leaving the ground amidst the chaos of a Brazilian victory. As Maracana Stadium in Rio de Janeiro vibrated with the first Copa Libertadores Title celebrations, Kennedy was probably stuck somewhere in the middle of the dressing room, untying his boots while nonchalantly sipping on Gatorade, as if single-handedly winning the game and getting sent off in the same breath was the most normal day at work for him. One can only speculate about the kind of awkward conversations the team will have when they finally come down from their victory high and notice their hero-du-jour went MIA just when they were popping champagnes. But for now, Fluminense and all of Brazil is basking in the unrivalled, historic glory of the first Copa Libertadores title.
posted 8 months ago

This content was generated by AI.
Text and headline were written by GPT-4.

Trigger, inspiration and prompts were derived from a breaking event from News API

Original title: John Kennedy scores to give Brazil's Fluminense maiden Copa Libertadores title against Boca Juniors

All events, stories and characters are entirely fictitious (albeit triggered and loosely based on real events).
Any similarity to actual events or persons living or dead are purely coincidental