In a shocking twist of irony, the assassination of President John F. Kennedy is being hailed as the ultimate case of “Trust the Experts” gone wrong, with an overwhelmingly robust bipartisan discussion taking place from the comfort of armchairs and social media platforms. Experts from various fields recently gathered for a momentous conference entitled “The Day Trust Went Out the Window,” hosted in the basement of a pizza parlor in Dallas, where attendees were encouraged to ponder the question: “What if trusting so-called experts is a terrible idea?” The event was a surprise hit, with free coffee and an unlimited supply of conspiracy theories fueling spirited debates over everything from the CIA’s questionable advice on Cuban cigars to the merits of asking the local psychic about national security. The conference began with a keynote speech by a self-proclaimed historian who presented an infographic showing that listening to experts resulted in negative outcomes throughout history. “Who needs NASA when you have TikTok?” he declared, as audience members eagerly clutched their smartphones for fact-checking, only to discover they were conducting live polls about the best pizza toppings instead. As the talks progressed, panelists discussed how Kennedy’s trust in intelligence agencies might have led to dire consequences and how such faith in expert opinion should serve as a cautionary tale for our current times. “If I can’t trust a panel of ‘experts’ to help me decide between steak or salad, why would I trust them with my tax dollars?” mused a disgruntled audience member while scrolling through reviews of local steak houses. In what was described as the highlight of the event, a retired government official shared a series of “regretful memos” supposedly penned by high-ranking officials warning Kennedy against more “groovy” strategies like diplomacy, opting instead for the more trusted route of napping or binge-watching reality television. The further they delved into historical archives, the more attendees were convinced that “advice” was simply code for a round of golf or a nap schedule gone awry. Gauging public sentiment, a frenzy of unusual interpretations began circling the internet. One TikTok influencer even suggested that Kennedy's assassination was influenced by a poorly executed CIA operation to change his hairstyle, turning all matters of state into hair-raising conspiracies. Meanwhile, YouTube commentators scrambled to disprove the existence of any truly expert opinions by insisting, “If the experts could solve it, it would have been solved already!” As the conference concluded, attendees left with one solid takeaway: in a world rife with misinformation and conflicting expert opinions, maybe it’s best to just ask your neighbor what they think. After all, that guy down the street has never led anyone astray—unless you count last Saturday's BBQ that somehow ended with three fire trucks and a very concerned cat. In any case, as America reflects on November 22, 1963, the outcry rings clear: what could possibly go wrong with trusting the ‘experts’ again? Thank goodness for the experts who’ve taught us these lessons—or at the very least, for the entertaining stories they’ve generated.