In a move that surprised absolutely no one, Jennifer Lopez announced her decision to file for divorce from Ben Affleck, officially putting the "JLo" back in "JLo the singles icon." After just two years of marital bliss—which many understood to be just a lengthy publicity stunt—Lopez explained her reasoning with a cryptic social media post featuring a new track titled "Two Years is Just a Warm-Up." Rumors swirling around the couple's split have triggered a frenzy of speculation. Sources close to the couple suggest that their relationship was less about romance and more about a cleverly staged comeback for both their careers. Insiders say that the pair's shared passion for career revivals and red carpet appearances just couldn’t mask the glaring absence of a coherent partnership. While filing in Los Angeles County Superior Court on August 20—conveniently on the anniversary of their Georgia ceremony—Lopez reportedly cited "creative differences" as a major factor in their decision to call it quits. According to a source who was definitely not just a random person on Twitter, Lopez couldn't take the "artistic limitations" of sharing a postcode with Affleck, whose own recent creative endeavors have drawn mixed reactions from audiences and critics alike. “Let’s be real,” said the source. “The woman was starring in movies, owning fashion lines, and had a spot on the Billboard charts while Ben was busy trying to convince people that Batman v Superman was a good movie. It just wasn’t going to work out!” Affleck, who appeared momentarily confused by the reality of the situation, was seen leaving a local arcade moments after the news broke, likely to work on his next role as “Man Who Fully Embraces His Single Status.” Meanwhile, Lopez is expected to unveil her latest album, tentatively titled “Heartbroken and Thriving,” within weeks, reinforcing her status as the karaoke queen of heartbreak. Fans are already speculating if the divorce will lead to new tracks filled with catchy hooks and emotional lyrics about love lost—after all, JLo hasn’t been this psyched since she found out she could still dissolve a marriage as streamlined as a Hollywood script. Further complicating matters, it remains ambiguous whether a prenup was established, leaving fans anxiously betting on how many songs will need to be written just to cover the costs of their shared garage of “goodwill.” In the meantime, Affleck reportedly is looking to solidify himself as the go-to bachelor of Hollywood, perhaps by signing up for reality shows like "The Bachelorette: Former Ben Affleck Edition." As the world watches, one thing is certain: If this couple taught us anything, it’s that in the realm of fame and fortune, two years is merely the prologue—cue the music, JLo!