In a shocking twist of events, former Brazilian president Jair Bolsonaro has found a new pastime: organizing military coup playdates. Who knew that chaos could be so entertaining? In light of charges alleging his role in masterminding a far-right conspiracy to thwart Luiz Inácio Lula da Silva’s rise to power, Bolsonaro has reportedly decided to turn his legal woes into a fun-filled adventure. Sources close to Bolsonaro reveal that the playdates feature a range of activities including strategy board games like "Risk," a DIY obstacle course to simulate climbing over political barriers, and, of course, a group reading of Machiavelli’s "The Prince." "We’re trying to keep it light," said one aide, who wished to remain anonymous. "After all, nothing says fun like plotting a coup while sipping on caipirinhas!" Movable feasts of miniature military tanks and toy soldiers have also been reported, allowing participants to create their own fanciful coup scenarios with varying levels of success, depending on how many rules they choose to break. "Yesterday, we reenacted an alternate history where the coup succeeded! Everyone loved it. It sparked a great debate about whether we should have taken the capital or just grabbed ice cream afterward," exclaimed a young participant, sporting camo gear and a mischievous grin. The attorney general, Paulo Gonet, has embraced the humor, encouraging Bolsonaro to take his creativity to new legal heights. "If he's going to plan a coup, he might as well make it entertaining for the rest of us," Gonet quipped during a press conference. “Maybe we can turn this into a reality show—'Coup or No Coup?'—where viewers vote on the best strategies!” While critics decry Bolsonaro's alleged antics as undermining democracy, his supporters argue that it's merely "working on his leadership skills." They point out that creative expression like this could prepare him for a future presidency if he ever manages to clear his legal name—because, let’s face it, who wouldn’t want to vote for a leader who knows how to throw a good coup party? Bolsonaro’s last known public appearance was at a brazenly extravagant tea party attended by several of his closest allies, where conspiracy theories flowed as freely as the chamomile. They donned matching "Coup Club" t-shirts, complete with their own insignia resembling a clenched fist holding a coffee cup, a nod to their unwavering determination, caffeine-fueled of course. As for his legal troubles, the former president remains unbothered, sporting a grin and proclaiming, “Life’s too short not to have fun while you work on your comeback!” Clearly, nothing can stop Bolsonaro from turning a potential political disaster into a whimsical summer camp for budding military tacticians. As the orchestrator of all things coup-related gears up for more playdates, one can only wonder what other creative exploits are in store. Perhaps a musical inspired by the history of Brazilian politics? Or maybe a cooking show titled "Culinary Coups," where Bolsonaro and friends whip up recipes most likely to serve while dismantling democracy. Either way, it seems the spirit of rebellion will remain deeply entertaining—and humorously perplexing—in Brazil for the foreseeable future.