As the global community basks in righteous indignation and paints Israel's Gaza offensive as the most horrendous act since a vegan was last caught sprinkling cheese on their salad, Israeli officials have taken quite an unorthodox approach towards defending their stance. Channeling their inner scholar, they've turned history teachers overnight, pointing out riveting episodes from past global bloodbaths to draw parallels with their own actions. Word on the Knesset floor is that they're less than thrilled with being singled out as the world's new favorite villain, especially when the past so kindly offers a luxurious buffet of debauchery and destruction on a global scale. “We thought people needed a history reminder,” lamented one high-ranking official who wished to remain anonymous, holding an enormous textbook labeled ‘A Complete Digest of Human Brutality 101’. “We're just here trying to refresh memory lanes.” Their defense has included History Channel worthy mentions from the post-World War II atomic bombing of Hiroshima and Nagasaki by the United States to Western military actions in Asian urban areas, notably the sieges of Falluja and Mosul. They've made reference to NATO's bombing campaign over Belgrade and even thrown in the Battle of Copenhagen for good measure. Drawing baffled looks and incredulous gasps around diplomatic circles, the Israeli officials seemed nonplussed. “We're not trying to outshine anyone here. We're not running a competition for 'Most Horrific Atrocities of the Last Century', but it just seems like we're unfairly targeted," reveals an Israeli diplomat. Meanwhile, other nations are dealing with this unexpectedly educational response in their own way. North Korea is rumored to be considering their own "historic defense" by citing brutal Roman gladiator games and the Spanish Inquisition. A source close to Kim Jong Un hinted that he might even nullify all human rights violation accusations against his regime by throwing back to Genghis Khan's epic slaughters. In this newfound global trend of historical defense, it seems only a matter of time before other nations join in. Australia might rebuke criticism for their refugee policies by highlighting the horrors of British colonialism, while Russia could potentially deflect election meddling charges by referring to the notorious Watergate scandal. In any case, Israel’s strategy of history lessons, though unexpected, has set the international community abuzz. Whether this will lead to a newfound appreciation for history amongst world leaders or just provide yet another punchline in the grand farce that is international politics, only time will tell.